If You Jump I'll Break Your Fall
by moonriverandme
Summary: The boys are at high school now but while some things have changed some things never will. Chris is still struggling with his reputation and Gordie with his father. Teddy and Vern are still stuck in the shop courses. Over a week the boys learn new things
1. Human Rights

This is the first fan fiction I've ever posted here so I'm a little nervous. Anyway this is about the characters from my favourite film STAND BY ME when they are in probably their junior or senior year of high school. Of course I don't own Gordie Lachance or Chris Chambers or the others, although I wish I did. I've written about twenty chapters but have just uploaded a couple so far. Please R + R and then if there are certain aspects you don't like I can change it before uploading the rest J Also thanks to my sister who sorted out my grammar and punctuation for me, you rock the Casbah!

**Human Rights.**

Usually Gordie Lachance paid little or no attention during oral reports, especially if they fell during last period English class, but today was different. Today was Chris Chambers's speech. Chris had been Gordie's best friend since birth or thereabouts. They did everything together and Gordie couldn't imagine life without his friend. Chris's speech was important for another reason too. Gordie knew how much Chris was struggling in the college courses and he knew how much this speech meant to Chris. It was important to both of them that this went well.

Sadly, it seemed like Chris was really struggling. He was talking about human rights, something Gordie knew Chris felt strongly about. Usually Chris was a pretty articulate guy, especially when talking about something he felt passionately about, but right now Chris was fumbling for words. Gordie noticed with distress that a fine layer of sweat had broken out on Chris's forehead as he scanned his cue cards with growing panic.

"So, um, basically there's a lot of um confl- conflict going on and, um..." Chris cleared his throat nervously.

Some of the other kids were beginning to snigger amongst themselves, no doubt whispering more about the ridiculousness of a Chambers kid being in the college courses. With rising frustration, Gordie noticed that the teacher wasn't even pretending to shush the students; instead, he was leaning forwards with a malevolent smile. Mr Stanley hated the Chambers family ever since Chris's older brother Richard (Eyeball to his friends) had glued a whole bunch of push pins to Mr Stanley's chair a couple of years back. Like most of the faculty Mr Stanley was just looking for reasons to kick Chris out of his class and back to the shop courses where he 'belonged'.

"C'mon Chambers we haven't got all day," Eric Clarkson said drumming his fingers loudly on his desk.

Gordie glanced back at Mr Stanley; surely he had to say something now. He didn't, of course; Gordie even swore that Mr Stanley's grin widened.

"Stick to shit you know about Chambers," another guy hissed.

The noise in the classroom was steadily increasing. Chris was growing more and more nervous, clearing his throat almost every other second and pulling uncomfortably on the neck of his t-shirt, stretching the thin material out of shape. Gordie was scared; he had never seen Chris Chambers really nervous. He tried to catch Chris's eye to reassure him that someone in there was supporting him. Chris's eyes were glued to the pieces of paper in his hand and his words had become an almost inaudible mumble. Gordie felt all the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, his heart pounding. More than anything he wanted to save Chris from pain. Only Gordie knew how hard Chris was working to even keep afloat in these classes, all those nights reviewing and memorising. This could not go on any longer.

"Shut the fuck up," Gordie found himself saying.

En masse, the class seemed to turn to face him; even Mr Stanley and Chris looked at him. Mr Stanley's piglike eyes were wide in shock. Chris was shaking his head slightly, willing Gordie not to do anything stupid.

"What did you say Mr Lachance?" Stanley asked.

"I said that, um, people should listen to Chris," Gordie said hating the shakiness of his voice.

"No, that's not what I heard," Stanley said coldly standing up.

Gordie bit his lip "I couldn't hear what Chris was saying sir, I just wanted everyone to, um, be quieter."

Stanley walked over and stopped in front of Gordie's desk.

"Don't lie to me, we all heard what you said."

"Well, if you heard then why did you even ask?" Gordie asked defiantly.

Stanley's eyes narrowed. "Leave now, go see Mr Bonds. I'm sure he'll have some words to share with you"

"Wait, Mr Stanley! Gordie didn't do anything," Chris protested, coming to stand besides Gordie's chair.

"Well, Mr Chambers, perhaps you can join Mr Lachance in the principal's office and you two can sort out this little…. Misunderstanding." Stanley smiled, revealing crooked teeth.

Several of their classmates were openly laughing now. Gordie climbed sullenly to his feet besides Chris. As Mr Stanley turned to walk back to his chair both Gordie and Chris shot him the finger behind his back. Then they turned and hurried from the classroom before one of the other kids could tell on them.

"Bastard," Chris muttered under his breath as the door shut behind them.


	2. Meeting The Unprofessional Mr Bonds

**Meeting The Unprofessional Mr Bonds.**

Chris chewed his thumbnail nervously and strained to hear what was being said in the room behind him. He was sat on the bench outside the principal's office while Gordie was inside with Mr Bonds. Chris didn't really care too much about what happened to him- after all he was a Chambers he was used to being screwed over- but Gordie was different. Chris appreciated what Gordie had done for him back in the classroom but at the same time he couldn't help but wish Gordie hadn't bothered. Gordie was going to be a real success in life, Chris could tell, but if Gordie kept sticking up for Chris then he was going to end up drowning too.

"What's taking so long?" Chris muttered to himself trying to imagine all the nasty crap Mr Bonds would be saying to Gordie. It went without saying that Mr Bonds would do the old compare-Gordie-with-his-brother-Denny. Chris just hoped it wasn't too painful.

Inside the principal's office Gordie was sat in sullen silence, as Mr Bonds talked about- you guessed it- Denny Lachance. Gordie loved his brother, he missed him every day, but when were people going to accept that he wasn't Denny?

"Your brother would never have pulled this kind of thing, Gordon," Mr Bonds said, "but then Denny had some school spirit. I notice that you haven't joined any sports teams, why is that?"

Gordie shrugged. "I don't know, Sir, there just isn't time."

Mr Bonds frowned. "Still hanging around with that Chambers kid? It won't do you any good, I promise you. No Chambers kid has ever made anything of themselves."

Gordie's anger flared. "Chris will! Chris is different."

Mr Bonds laughed. "Christopher Chambers is making a mockery of the college courses. Yes, I agreed to let him give it a try, but really the time has come to stop this charade. Chambers belongs in the shop courses, if he applied himself there he could get a good labour job after high school."

Gordie's fists were clenched. "Maybe if people showed some belief in Chris he would do better!" He paused. "Besides he's not doing… so badly."

Mr Bonds leaned forwards. "Would you be surprised, Lachance, if I were to tell you that Christopher Chambers is failing every one of his classes?"

Gordie felt as jolt of surprise. He knew Chris was finding things difficult but he didn't know he was failing. Still, he wasn't going to give Mr Bonds the pleasure of acting all shocked.

"He's not really failing," Gordie replied, trying to keep his voice even. "He's doing really well in English and social studies."

Mr Bonds shook his head. "Believe what you want, I think we all know how this is going to turn out." He paused and withdrew a set of slips from his desk drawer. "Anyway, on the matter of your behaviour in Mr Stanley's class, I think a couple of detentions will suffice. Three o'clock today and tomorrow. You know where."

"Yes Sir," Gordie said sombrely, reaching across to take the detention slips. He stood up to leave.

"Send Christopher in," Mr Bonds said, a glint in his eye.

Gordie felt his heart plummet; this was going to be bad.


	3. Nobody Believes in Chris again

Wow, thank you for the reviews. Really, they made me feel all happy inside. *hugs* Here are the next three chapters, I hope you enjoy them! Also I have written about twenty chapters so far and so if there are things you want me to change about the characters or whatever just R+R and tell me that way it will be a story you will enjoy more. It was suggested that this may be a slash fiction, I have no problem with that at all but so far in my twenty chapters it is not a slash fic. Basically I just chose not to give Gordie and Chris girlfriends at this stage but who knows what will happen next. 

**Nobody believes in Chris (again).**

Gordie was waiting outside the office and when Chris appeared he jumped to his feet.

"Hey man how was it?"

Chris shrugged, his eyes distant. "Okay, same old, same old."

"Yeah" Gordie smiled hopefully. "Nothing to bring you down, right?"

"Right." Chris scooped his backpack off the floor and put it on.

"Nothing brings Chris Chambers down," Gordie crowed enthusiastically.

Chris nodded but didn't say anything for a while. They walked along the corridor in silence. Class had finished and the hallways were beginning to fill with students.

"Gordie," Chris whispered desperately, "am I just kidding myself man?"

Gordie was horrified. "No man, don't think that. Never think like that."

Chris shook his head. "I'm tired of this shit Gordie, maybe everyone's right. Maybe I do belong in the shop courses."

Gordie grabbed Chris's arm and stopped him. "You're going to get out of this town Chris, you're going to be a huge fucking success." He kept his voice low so the students milling about wouldn't hear.

Chris smiled weakly. "Yeah well tell that to old man Bonds back there. Yeah, he has a lot of faith in me. Nice pep talk back there. I'm telling you Gordie, I feel like a new man."

"Forget that son of a bitch, Chris. Don't ever let anyone tell you you're not good enough. Shit, Chris, if I believed everything my Dad said to me I wouldn't have enough confidence to breathe in and out."

Chris knew it was true. "Yeah you're right, fuck those guys. You get detention?"

"Today and tomorrow," Gordie replied.

"I just got today," Chris smirked. "Sorry Lachance, guess you'll have to fend for yourself tomorrow".

"Yeah," Gordie laughed lightly, pleased that Chris was feeling better.

They continued to their lockers in that comfortable silence that pops up between people who have been friends for years. As they arrived at their lockers Eric Clarkson sauntered over surrounded by his usual cronies.

"Hey Chambers, Lachance what happened back there?"

Chris didn't even look at them, just kept his eyes fixed in his lockers. Gordie leaned back against his locker and stared at Eric.

Eric smirked "Hey Chambers your bitch beating you up?"

Chris stiffened but didn't reply. Gordie's eyes went to his friend and sure enough, on the back of his neck was a large angry purple bruise. Mr Chambers no doubt was responsible.

"Hey Chambers, I asked you a question." Eric tapped Chris on the neck, right on the bruise.

Chris whirled around. "I chose not to answer, shitheap." 

Chris was taller than Eric and bigger. Eric was probably feeling pretty confident, what with having all his lackeys surrounding him, but Gordie knew that Chris could- and would- take them all if he needed to.

"Get out of my face Clarkson." Chris stood straight, his legs slightly apart in an aggressive stance.

Eric laughed. "What are you gonna do Christopher? In case you haven't noticed you're outnumbered, even if we do take your bitch here into account"

Gordie scowled and straightened up. Sure, he was still as skinny as he had ever been, but he was tall. Very tall, taller than Chris even and he had a good couple of inches on Eric Clarkson.

"Why don't you get the fuck out of here," Gordie warned.

Eric smirked. "Okay Lachance," he said with mock sincerity.

"Go," Chris said. Only one word, but it was backed by a lot of emotion.

Eric seemed to consider the options then he smiled. "Bye girls." He patted Gordie on the shoulder then turned to leave. His cronies followed dutifully.

Gordie and Chris exchanged glances "Bastards."


	4. Three O'Clock Detention

**Three O'clock Detention.**

A few minutes later Gordie and Chris were lined up outside classroom 302 with the rest of the detention gang. They weren't surprised to see their old friends Teddy Duchamp and Vern Tessio waiting too. A couple of years earlier the four of them had been really tight but as with most things time had caused them to drift apart. Gordie also knew that Teddy in particular was resentful of Chris. While Chris had gotten out of the shop courses, Teddy hadn't. It seemed to Gordie that almost nobody wanted Chris to take the college courses. Mr Chambers had even used it as another excuse to beat on his kid, claiming that Chris was trying to make his father and his brothers look bad.

Right now Teddy and Vern were holding court with their new friends. When they saw Chris and Gordie, Teddy's face broke into a smug smile.

"Hey if it isn't Gordon Lachance and Christopher Chambers. How nice of you guys to come on down and mix with us"

"Shut up Teddy" Chris muttered.

"So the great Chris Chambers got detention. That's too bad, really." Teddy stepped forwards. "I know how it must hurt you having to mix with us guys"

Gordie glanced at Chris but found his expression hard to read.

"Hey Teddy, hey Vern" Gordie said finally, hoping to break the tension.

"Hey Gordo" Vern offered. Teddy didn't say anything.

"What you guys here for?" Chris asked, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"Got caught smoking out back, Decroix caught us, she was so mad sincerely and you know..."

Teddy cut Vern off. "Why are you here?" he asked.

"Some shit happened in English class" Gordie replied.

Vern nodded thoughtfully. "Geez when was the last time we talked to you guys?"

Gordie shrugged. "It's been a while I guess"

Teddy nodded. "Long time, no see"

The detention supervisor had arrived. He was a tall skinny man with a weasely face and tinny eyes.

"You know the drill," the man said wearily as he unlocked the classroom door. As each kid filed in they handed him their slip and he ticked them off his list. 

Gordie and Chris found seats near each other in the back row of the classroom. They had been on enough detentions to know that they weren't allowed to talk at all and were just expected to sit in silence and do homework. If some poor kid forgot to bring any work with them then they would be stuck writing lines or doing some other mindless task set by the detention supervisor. 

   Despite this, Gordie found detention almost fun. At least it was quiet and his dad wouldn't wander in and complain about his friends and his mom wasn't there to cry about Denny some more. Detention was almost a relief if you know what I mean.

   Next to Gordie, Chris was puzzling over a page of algebra problems. It may as well have been written in German for all he understood of it. He tried to focus but his mind kept wandering. A row ahead and just to the left of Chris was Teddy. 

   Teddy was pretending to read some book but was really using detention to catch up on sleep, every now and then he flicked balls of paper at some girl sat in front of him. Vern had forgotten to bring some homework. Even after his thousands of detentions he just didn't learn. Instead he was writing 'I will not smoke in the school grounds' over and over. He wrote slowly his face contorted in concentration as he laboriously copied what the teacher had written down.

   Gordie was pretending to work on French verbs but really he was writing a story. His mind was filled with images. This story seemed to be a good one and his pen raced over the paper as he tried to squeeze each and every detail from his imagination.

   Suddenly the supervisor rose to his feet. "I need to go get some files from my office, can I trust you to behave while I'm away? If any of you pulls anything I will personally see to it that you have detention each and every day for the rest of the school year"

   Seeing as it was only October that was quite a threat. Still, as soon as the supervisor left the room began to hum with voices.

"Hey Gordo man what are you writing?" Chris asked leaning over.

   Gordie shrugged, "nothing". He instinctively covered up the page with his arm. "What are you doing?"

   "Fuckin' algebra.  I don't understand any of it" Chris said leaning back in his chair and stretching out his arms.

   The girl in front of Teddy had turned around. "Will you quit that," she protested angrily. Gordie watched with interest. He didn't recognise the girl, she probably didn't live in Castle Rock.

   Teddy smirked then held out a hand "Teddy Duchamp"

The girl shook his hand reluctantly "Laura" 

"Hi Laura" Vern piped up beaming. "I'm Vern Tessio"

Laura smiled. She was kind of pretty with longish brown hair and green eyes. She was the only girl in detention today.

Laura looked around "this school sucks"

"You new here?" Chris asked out of nowhere.

Laura glanced at him "Yeah but I'm only going to be here a couple of months". She paused. "I'm just staying with relatives while our house gets packed up. We're moving to California"

"California's cool" Chris offered then slumped back into silence.

Laura stared at Chris for a minute then turned back to Teddy. Teddy caught on to her confusion and awkwardly introduced his ex-friends.

"That's Chris Chambers and Gordie Lachance. Don't bother with them though, they're just pussies"

Vern laughed and, to Teddy's obvious delight, so did Laura. Gordie glowered but stayed silent. Chris didn't even react in fact it seemed as if he hadn't even heard.


	5. A Fun Evening At The Lachance House

**A Fun Evening At The Lachance House.**

Ever since Denny had died, dinnertimes at Gordie's house had been strained and silent. Gordie was so used to them in fact, that he rarely even attempted conversation. His mother would sometimes burst into tears while his dad pretended not to notice. Yeah it was always a laugh riot at the Lachance house. Unfortunately for him, the school had called and told his parents about his detentions. Gordie was braced for the attack.

"The school called" his dad began as soon as he sat down.

Gordie looked up. "Really? Why?" He feigned innocence.

"You know why" his father replied sharply.

Gordie took a big gulp of juice and wished fleetingly that it were something a lot stronger. "I really don't".

"Mr Bonds said you were rude in English class," Mr Lachance said coldly. "Said you and that Chambers boy caused some trouble"

Mrs Lachance looked up her eyes watery. "Chambers boy?"

"You know, that white trash our son insists on associating with." Mr Lachance took a bite of food and glared at his son.

"Chris isn't white trash." The words spilled out automatically. This was of course an old and much repeated argument.

"Why can't you have friends like Denny's?" Mr Lachance asked for the zillionth time.

Gordie didn't answer; he just glowered at his food. He seemed to be doing the whole silent and brooding act a whole lot lately. It wasn't fun, but someone had to do it.

"I thought now you've finally ditched that Duchamp kid and the Tessio idiot that maybe you were finally straightening yourself out"

Gordie looked up and just to spite his dad: "I saw Vern and Teddy today in detention. It was just like old times." 

Mr Lachance's frown deepened. "Yes, your teacher mentioned you had detention. Seems to be an all too familiar event for you Gordon"

Gordie shrugged. "It's not so bad"

"I do not want my son in detention every night!" Mr Lachance shouted, "Denny would never have done this"

"Yeah well I'm not Denny okay Dad" Gordie was shouting now too. "I'm not him! I'm sorry if I'm such a fucking disappointment".

Mrs Lachance burst into tears. Mr Lachance looked furious.

"You will not speak like that in my house!" he roared.

Gordie shoved his chair back and stood up. "I'll say what I want!" he screamed.

"Watch your mouth, you may think you're grown up but this is my house and while you're under my roof you will do what I say!" 

Gordie glared daggers at his father. "Maybe I don't want to be under your roof"

Mrs Lachance was sobbing now, her husband looked at her as if she were some minor interruption. 

"You're upsetting your mother"

"So what?!" Gordie screamed.

"Get out. Now!"

Gordie stared at his father. He had never felt angrier, but strangely there was a part of his brain that was actually enjoying this. He stood completely still for a minute just soaking in his father's fury, it was strangely liberating.

"Fine I'm gone," he said finally and his voice was strong. "Eat my fucking dust." He turned to leave then, as an afterthought, grabbed his empty water glass and threw it to the floor. Haha, there you go. He stormed out the house slamming the door as violently as possible. He didn't quite know where he was going, but so what? He had never felt more alive.


	6. Back To The Ol' Tree House

Hey again, just wanted to thank my reviewers, you guys are great!! Here are the next couple of chapters. I hope you enjoy them. It's the weekend now so maybe I'll have more time to upload and write more, fingers crossed anyway. Have a great weekend everyone!

**Back To The Ol' Tree House.**

Gordie had left his house without any real plan. Now as he stalked the streets of Castle Rock, he felt the first hints of doubt and worry creeping into his mind. He walked fast, his strides eating up the sidewalk. He could go to Chris's house he supposed but instantly rejected that idea; Mr Chambers was on a bad streak anyway. Why add to Chris's problems? Finally Gordie found himself on the edge of a once familiar lot. The tree house was there and it looked shabbier and the worse for wear. The boards they'd haphazardly thrown up a summer a long time ago, were rotten and starting to warp from moisture and heat. Gordie paused at the bottom of the ladder. For some reason, this seemed like a big decision, as if going up that ladder represented something bigger. Still, it was getting cold and dark and it wasn't like he had a whole load of options anyway. Gordie took a deep breath and started to climb.

If Gordie had known what was going on inside the tree house maybe he would have thought again. Teddy and Vern were in there with some of their friends and a couple of girls getting high. This wasn't exactly an unusual situation for them if you understand, but Gordie would probably be pretty surprised seeing as he hadn't been to the tree house or hung around with Teddy and Vern in almost three years. Anyway if Gordie was going to be surprised then so were they, they hadn't seen much of Gordie Lachance in a long time.

Teddy was the first to hear the scuffling on the ladder. Through the haze that seemed to surround his brain right now, he reached down and swung open the trapdoor. He came face to face with Gordie. Both of them jumped.

"Teddy?" Gordie choked out. Then he saw all the others crowding to peer down at him. His brown eyes widened and he almost lost his grip on the ladder. Almost.

"Shit is that you Gordie?" Teddy said questioningly. Either some boy he used to be friends with was climbing into the tree house, or this was some weird ass hallucination.

Gordie didn't answer. He just stared aghast at the scene inside the tree house. He couldn't even move up or down the ladder, he was just frozen in place. There must have been at least six maybe seven people up there all peering down at him, unnerving at the best of times and when you're not expecting it, downright freaky. Eventually he found his voice.

"Hi Teddy" He tried to smile. "can I come up?"

Teddy rubbed his mouth considering. Finally he nodded and reached down to help pull Gordie in.

"Gordie!" Vern cried happily, his eyes as wide as saucers. Vern stood and moved to hug Gordie, but he caught his toe on the box/table and went sprawling over two boys Gordie didn't know.

"Goddammit Vern!" hissed one of the boys angrily.

Teddy was sat in the centre, obviously the leader of this new gang. He was smoking and staring at Gordie.

"Smoke?" Teddy offered.

Gordie reached for the offered cigarette tentatively. He wasn't really a smoker only at times of great stress or when he was really bored. He took the cigarette and waited while Teddy lit it. Suddenly Teddy jumped up.

"Everyone out now, I got stuff to do"

"Aw Teddy" someone moaned, Gordie recognised her as that girl from detention, Laura someone.

"Out!" Teddy ordered stubbing his cigarette out on the table. "Not you Lachance" he said impatiently, seeing Gordie angrily rising back to his feet.

Gordie paused halfway to his feet and looked at Teddy in confusion. The others were slowly starting to leave. Vern paused just before climbing down the ladder and threw his arms clumsily around Gordie's neck.

"Bye Gordo" he said happily.

Gordie watched Vern leave with an uneasy feeling. Exactly what had been going on up here? Teddy was stood stock still now, faced away from Gordie, looking out the window. As Laura left she touched him on the shoulder.

"Bye Teddy, thanks for tonight it was fun," Laura said. Then as if noticing Gordie for the first time, "Bye-Bye Gary."

"Gordie" Gordie corrected, but it was no use, she was already halfway down the ladder.

The tree house was empty now, except for Gordie and Teddy. Gordie sat down and smoked, waiting for Teddy to say something. It seemed as if almost an hour had passed before Teddy turned around to face him.

"You don't need to tell me nothin'. I'm sleeping here tonight and I guess you can too." Teddy ran a hand through his blond hair. "No questions, okay?"

"Sure" Gordie replied. He finished his cigarette and stubbed the butt out on the floorboards. 

It wasn't that late, but a lot had happened today and Gordie was tired. He lay down awkwardly on one side of the tree house and closed his eyes. As he drifted off to sleep he was aware of Teddy lighting another cigarette. Chain smoker. He went to sleep.


	7. Teddy's Confession

**Teddy's Confession.**

Gordie was dreaming. In his dream he was running along a dark hallway. Though he didn't know exactly what he was running to, he knew it was something vitally important. His chest hurt as he tried to run faster and faster. He knew that if he didn't speed up, he was going to miss what was at the end of the hallway; he was going to fail. He could hear voices ringing all around him, Chris, Teddy, Vern, Mr Bonds, his father and an eerily soft voice that he knew without a doubt belonged to Denny. 'Run faster' they all seemed to be urging. 'Run faster Gordie, run faster for me'. Gordie couldn't breathe, every muscle in his body was screaming. There was blackness all around him.

"Gordie! Gordie wake up!"

Gordie's eyes shot open and when they had focused he saw in the moonlight, Teddy crouching next to him. Teddy was white with fear. Without his glasses his face looked naked, and strangely vulnerable.

"Gordie man, what happened? You were screaming"

Gordie tried to think. "Screaming?" he asked dumbly. He didn't remember his dream but he felt a lingering feeling of unease. Gordie sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to think, trying to focus.

Teddy sat down next to him and compulsively reached for the pack of cigarettes on the table. He lit one and smoked it down fast.

"I guess I had a bad dream," Gordie said finally. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"It's okay, I wasn't really asleep" Teddy replied. Then "god you scared me shitless"

Gordie smiled weakly, "yeah, sorry about that."

Teddy had put his glasses on and now he turned to Gordie with a little curiosity.

"Why are you here anyway?"

"I thought no questions," Gordie protested, but he didn't really mind.

Teddy shrugged. "C'mon Lachance, just tell me." Now the fear was wearing off, Teddy was starting to revert back to his usual self.

"Just some stupid argument with my old man. Had to get out of there you know??"

"Yes but why did you come here? Why didn't you go see Chris?"

Gordie shrugged. "I don't know. It just seemed right to come here." He brushed his hair back off his forehead. "Why are you here?"

Teddy scowled. "Mind your fuckin' business"

Gordie's anger flared. "Just tell me Goddammit. I told you"

Teddy stood up and crossed to the other side of the tree house. He picked up a pack of playing cards and shuffled it nervously, just for something to do you know, just to calm him down.

"Alright" he said finally. "I'll tell you, but don't you tell a word of this to anyone, you hear Lachance? Cause I'm warning you, if I hear you told anyone, even fuckin' Chambers I will…"

"I get it Teddy" Gordie cut him off.

Teddy nodded "Well you see my mom's new boyfriend's staying at our house."

"Your mom has a boyfriend? But I thought…I thought your dad was..." Gordie was shocked.

"My dad is still alive if that's what you're wondering, but that bitch thinks it's time enough for her to have a new man" Teddy spat and his eyes were bright with anger. "Doesn't she give a shit about my dad?" he wondered desperately.

"I'm sorry Teddy" Gordie said anxiously. God, this was an awkward situation. He found himself standing up and crossing over to sit next to Teddy.

"My dad he doesn't know and she won't even take me up there to see him anymore! I gots to see my dad Gordie, I gots to! You understand? You understand Gordie, my dad he…he" Teddy couldn't finish the sentence. 

Gordie was horrified to see Teddy's eyes well up. Teddy Duchamp crying? It was like some weird dream.

"My dad stormed the beaches he stormed the goddamn beaches!" Teddy said in a strangled voice that indicated to Gordie that he was choking back a sob.

Gordie found himself patting Teddy on the shoulder. "He stormed the beaches at Normandy, I remember," he said soothingly.

"And this new son of a bitch doesn't even treat her good" Teddy continued and now he couldn't fight the tears. "I saw him hit her. That bastard hit my mom Gordie, he hit my mom!"

"It's going to be okay," Gordie said. What else was there to say?

"How?" Teddy almost shrieked.

Gordie put an arm around Teddy's shoulder just like Chris had done for him so many times. "I don't know, but it will be, it will be okay Teddy."

Teddy was leaning against Gordie crying openly. Gordie didn't know what to do so he just did what Chris would have done. He stayed with Teddy, just listened to him and reassured him until he went back to sleep. Gordie stayed awake for a while longer. He was tired, but his mind was buzzing. So many things had happened in such a short time. Maybe, just maybe he was finally growing up.


	8. The Morning After

Here are the next three chapters. I don't know, I wrote these a few weeks ago and I'm not sure whether I really like them. If you read and think 'what's the point?' then don't worry I think that the chapters after these three are a bit better (I hope). Anyway please R+R and tell me what you think. (Hey you know what's cool, I was in this restaurant on Friday and they played the song 'Stand By Me' three times!) *smiles* Also I know probably seems like a slash fic but it's not, they're just good friends.

**The Morning After.**

Gordie finally went back to sleep at what must have been about four am. Teddy rudely awoke him just a few hours later. Teddy looked a little sheepish, a little embarrassed by the events of the night before. 

"You goin' home before school Lachance?" Teddy asked.

Gordie shrugged. "I guess so, I need some clothes and stuff." He paused. "I better sneak in though, else my dad will give me hell about last night."

Teddy smiled slightly. "Won't he give you hell whenever he sees you?"

Gordie smiled back grimly. "Yeah but I may as well delay it as long as possible."

Teddy nodded. "Sure, good plan I guess."

Gordie was climbing down the ladder now. He looked thoughtfully back at Teddy.

"Are you going home Teddy?"

"No," Teddy said shortly. "He doesn't leave for work till around eight and I don't want to be bumping into him this morning."

Gordie nodded. "Well come round my house with me and get some food and shit, hey I could even lend you a shirt."

Teddy shook his head. "Thanks but no thanks Gordo."

"Don't be stupid man, c'mon it's no strain." Gordie reassured him.

Teddy stared questioningly at Gordie. "You sure man? No strain?"

"No fuckin' strain." Gordie said making an attempt to be cheerful. It was difficult seeing as he'd had barely any sleep and his mind was still whirring from the emotional strain of Teddy's, Chris's and his own troubles.

They walked most of the way to the Lachance house in silence, both boys lost in thought. Teddy was trying to remember exactly how much he had told Gordie last night. Every now and then he stole glances at his friend to see if Gordie was treating him differently at all. Gordie's face was unreadable and his eyes strangely blank. Teddy cursed his own vulnerability, telling Gordie Lachance all kinds of private shit could not be a good idea. Gordie on the other hand was absorbed in trying to work out a way to sneak himself and Teddy into his house without his parents knowing. Hopefully his dad would have left for work already, but his mom would be around for sure. He was also thinking about Teddy's problem and Chris's problem. There was no easy answer for either. Gordie could feel their load only adding to the weight on his shoulders. 

Gordie was shook out of his thoughts by Teddy grabbing his arm.

"This is it man, what are we gonna do?"

Gordie looked up and found himself in front of his house. He stared up at it thoughtfully, squinting against the sun.

"Okay the best bet is to just go around the side and climb through my bedroom window." Gordie glanced down the drive. "Good, my dad's already left for work."

Teddy nervously kicked a can off the sidewalk into the road. The noise startled Gordie.

"Listen man" Teddy began. "I don't think I should go into your house, your mom fuckin' hates me."

Gordie frowned slightly. "What are you gonna do then?"

"Just wait here I guess" Teddy replied.

Gordie nodded. "Okay, well at least come around the side and help me reach the window."

Teddy agreed and the two boys darted down the alleyway separating the Lachance house from the neighbours. They came around into the backyard and Teddy gave Gordie a leg up. Luckily no one had bothered to shut his window.

Gordie scrambled clumsily through his window and dropped to the floor on the other side. He paused and tried to determine where his mother was. It only took him a minute to realise she was right next-door in Denny's room; she had the radio on in there, tuned to some Christian station. How could he have forgotten? Every week his mother went and lit a candle in the shrine that Denny's room had become. Just after Denny had died, Gordie had been scared to go in there, but now the thought of entering that room just made him feel sad, and more for his mother than for Denny. The fading photographs pinned to the walls and the stack of rapidly aging magazines on Denny's desk depressed Gordie out of his mind. 

Guessing he probably only had about five minutes before his mom would come out of Denny's room sobbing, Gordie went to work. He quickly stripped and threw on some new clothes, a plain black t-shirt and blue jeans. He grabbed a shirt out of his closet for Teddy then quietly as possible opened his bedroom door. He hurried into the bathroom and quickly brushed his teeth. He was just leaving when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Okay, he didn't really care how he looked but it was important to appear as normal as possible, and normally Gordie Lachance did not turn up to school with hair sticking up all over and dirt smudged across his face. He splashed some water onto his face and was just attempting to smooth down his hair when he realised the music had stopped which meant his mom must be finishing up. Gordie forgot about his hair and flew down the stairs. 

As Gordie closed the front door, his mom emerged from Denny's room.


	9. Jealousy

**Jealousy**

Gordie didn't see Chris until lunchtime. They met just outside the cafeteria and Chris had a strange expression on his face.

"Hey man is Teddy Duchamp wearing your shirt?" Chris asked incredulously.

Gordie looked at Chris in surprise. Who the fuck notices what kind of shirt a person wears? "What do you mean?" He asked carefully.

Chris had meant it just as a fly away comment but there was something about Gordie's tone of voice that made him think. Gordie was a horrible liar and Chris always caught him out.

"Why is Teddy wearing your shirt?"

"Which shirt man?" Gordie tried to feign innocence.

"That blue one man, the one you was wearing when Eyeball threw up on you man remember when you was at my house and that bastard came in drunk." Chris shook his head in memory.

Gordie cursed himself; of course Chris would remember that shirt. He should have chosen just some plain old t-shirt; he should have stopped to think. Oh well Chris knew, so there was no point carrying on the charade.

"Oh he um he borrowed it." Gordie said, then quickly opened the cafeteria door and disappeared inside hoping Chris wouldn't follow with any more questions. Of course since this was really not Gordie's day or week for that matter, Chris did follow with more questions.

"Why did he borrow it?" Chris asked. Then he looked at Gordie more carefully and for the first time noticed that his friend didn't look as put together as usual. "Wait what happened to you?"

The cafeteria was pretty full and Gordie wasn't exactly dying to talk about his problems at home in front of all these people. He hoped that Chris would take the hint and just leave it. For once just let it go Chris he thought to himself. 

Out loud he said "Nothing really." Gordie smiled weakly. "You want to go get lunch?"

Chris grabbed Gordie's arm and pulled him back into the corner away from the crowds. "What happened man? C'mon you can tell me."

Gordie pulled away from Chris's grip. "I slept at the tree house last night" he said in a low voice. "I had a huge argument with my dad and I had to get out. Teddy was up there, and this morning I just lent him a shirt." Okay, that was the truth but only the bare minimum details.

"You went to the tree house?" For some reason Chris looked hurt.

Gordie was confused, why was that the part Chris was latching on to? "Yes, why?"

"Why didn't you call on me?" Chris asked.

Gordie shrugged. "I don't know, I thought your dad would be mad."

"He probably would have been" Chris agreed. "But so what? My dad's always mad at something, doesn't mean you can't talk to me."

Gordie tried to smile, for some reason he felt a huge wave of stress. "It's okay though, I kind of talked to Teddy." He found himself stretching his mouth in a big fake smile.

"You talked to Teddy?" Now Chris looked angry. "Fuckin' Teddy? You talked to Teddy over me?"

"No it's really not like that," Gordie protested.

Chris scowled. "What did Teddy have to say?"

"Um…" Gordie tried to think. The thing was they hadn't really discussed his problem, but he couldn't tell Chris what Teddy had told him. For some reason this stupid small situation was getting out of control.

Chris crossed his arms coolly across his chest. "Yeah sounds real helpful Lachance."

Gordie stared at Chris incredulously. "Why are you mad about this?"

Chris didn't answer, he just stared at Gordie tight lipped, his blue eyes narrowed. Gordie felt like screaming, he was exhausted and stressed out of his mind about everything and now Chris was mad at him for some weird reason.

"You know what?" Gordie said finally. "Fuck it." He turned to leave.

It was only as he left the cafeteria that he realised Chris wasn't following him and it took him another minute to realise that he cared.


	10. Tall Tales

**Tall Tales.**

After leaving the cafeteria Gordie ended up just wandering aimlessly around the school. For the first time in his life, he wished the lunch hour were shorter. He was sick of storming out of places and arguing with people. He found himself outside the building and was about to go back inside when he spotted Teddy and Vern disappearing around the corner of the far building with a group of other boys. Gordie followed after them, partly out of natural curiosity and partly to spite Chris and his father.

It turned out they weren't doing anything more interesting than smoking and complaining about teachers, classes and the other kids. Gordie approached them nervously; he wasn't exactly sure how his arrival would be received.

"Hey Teddy, Vern..." His voice tailed off when he realised they were the only two he recognised.

"Hey Gordie" Vern replied smiling.

Teddy kind of nodded and said something that sounded like "Lachance."

One of the other boys offered Gordie a cigarette, which he accepted gratefully. He was really stressed and probably smoking would help he reasoned. Teddy's 'greeting' seemed to give him some sort of acceptance within the group and they moved along to give him room against the wall. Gordie leaned back against it, happy to stay silent and just smoke. 

Suddenly the conversation stopped and the others turned to look at Gordie.

"I was just telling the guys about the stories you used to tell" Vern explained. "Man, they were really boss. Sincerely, this guy's a fucking genius!"

Teddy nodded in agreement. "Why don't you tell us one Gordo, maybe one about Sgt. Steele or Le Dio." He paused, then "just for old times sake".

"I don't know" Gordie said warily. "I can't just make one up on the spot you know."

"Aw c'mon Gordie" Vern urged.

"Ah I don't know." Gordie took a drag on his cigarette and looked nervously around the group, face to expecting face.

"Just a short one." Teddy promised.

"Okay" Gordie said reluctantly. "Well the one I was thinking about is about these two soldiers who are best friends, they've been friends since birth. Anyway their names are um Nick Lewton and um Charlie Grant and they're living in some little town in Oregon called um Paige. They hear that war has broken out so they decide to join the army…"

As Gordie was telling his story, Chris was waiting in line to pay for his lunch. He scanned the cafeteria looking for somewhere to sit, it wasn't like Gordie was his only friend, he could find someone to sit with. He hoped. Finally he paid for his lunch then picked up his tray and started weaving his way across the lunchroom. The thing was you had to walk as if you had a purpose, a destination. That way no one would know that inside you were kind of nervous and unsure. Chris had perfected hiding his emotions, hell sometimes he could even fool himself. He found a seat on an empty table at the back and sat down. To be honest he wasn't really desperate to talk to someone, he needed a few minutes to himself just to think. Also he had a test in French class next period and he sure could use some time to look over his tenses. He remembered bitterly that earlier this week Gordie had promised to help him. Gordie seemed to find French pretty easy, but then Gordie found most classes easy. Chris was smart too, but he was more street-smart, more common sense smart than intellectual smart. Also Chris had pretty much wasted his first seven or eight school years and even now after years of hard work he was still trying to make up for all the lost time.

   Chris had been sat for just a few minutes stirring his food around on his plate when he became aware that someone was standing right next to him. It was this girl Lily something from his English class. It wasn't that Chris couldn't remember Lily's second name, but it was just that he couldn't pronounce it. It was Russian or Hungarian or something. Generally he and the guys just referred to her as 'Alphabet'.

 "Hey Alph…Lily" Chris said smiling in what he hoped was a friendly manner.

Lily nervously pushed her hair back behind her ears. "I um just wanted to say that your speech yesterday in English class was really good, I um liked it a lot actually. It sucks that you and Gordie got sent to Mr Bonds." 

She had that kind of voice that made whatever she said sound like a question. Instead of coming out like 'your speech was really good' it would sound like 'your speech was really good?' Chris didn't take it personally; if Lily were stating the colour of her hair she would say, "it's brown?"

"Thanks." Chris replied.

Lily nodded to herself more than to him. "Just wanted you to know that…. bye I guess." She turned around and returned to the table where all her friends were. Chris saw that they all swivelled around to peer at him as she returned to her seat. Whatever, he had way more important things to think about.


	11. French Class

Hey first I just want to thank all my reviewers, this week has not been the best (very stressful in fact) but your reviews made me feel a whole lot better *hugs* I'm so glad you're enjoying this story! Hmmm I'm still not sure about the last few chapters but anyway…here are the next three!! I hope you enjoy them, please R+R and tell me what you think.  

**French Class.**

Gordie was just finishing up his story as the bell signalling the end of lunchtime rang. 

"…. So just before Lewton dies he admits to Grant that he was the one who told Sgt. Steele about the French girl. So Lewton's dead and Grant's really confused and stuff because now he doesn't know what to think and he's angry at Lewton and he's angry at Steele and he's angry at the fuckin' Germans." Gordie paused to take a breath. This story was far from his best but the others were hanging on his every word. "So he grabs his gun."

"Machine gun." Vern corrected, his eyes shining.

"Yeah he grabs his machine gun and he runs to the front of the line and charges into the little French village. All these fuckin' krauts are everywhere and they're all shooting at him but he just keeps running. The other guys follow him only they keep getting shot down, right? But Grant, well, he gets right up to the German offence line and he shots this German commandant right between the eyes. And it doesn't matter that the commandant's men have him lined up in their shots and it doesn't matter that they all shoot him because he dies having killed the commandant." Gordie paused for effect. "He dies knowing that he just helped save all the fuckin' French people in the village."

"Including the girl?" Vern asked hopefully.

"Of course Vern" Teddy said. "Isn't that fuckin' obvious man?" He shook his head in amazement.

Gordie smiled slightly, this brought back a whole lot of memories. He wished life were as simple as it had been back then. Back then the biggest thing he'd had to worry about was that his friends wouldn't enjoy his stories. Well that wasn't exactly true but hey we all look back at our past with the old rose tinted glasses.

The bell had rung a good couple of minutes earlier and Gordie made to stub out his third cigarette and grab his backpack.

"Aw shit I got a test in French!" He said, suddenly remembering.

Teddy looked carefully at him. "Ditch."

Gordie glanced quickly at Teddy. "Skip the class?"

"Sure" Teddy said grinning. "Unless of course you're too pussy."

Gordie rolled his eyes. "It's not that man, it's just I should probably go, might be kind of important."

The other boys were drifting away, but Teddy stayed against the wall.

"I'm skipping next period, there's no fuckin' way I'm goin' to remedial social science, what kind of class is that anyway?" Teddy said then he laughed "e e eee e e eee."

That laughter cut to something inside Gordie, shit that laugh was Teddy Duchamp. It's weird when you find your life has circled around and you're back to where you were years earlier. That laugh man, that laugh was everything. Gordie found himself going back to stand next to Teddy. Teddy may be crazy, but knowing that some things never change comforted Gordie, he wanted to hold on to that feeling. Just for today.

Chris was sat in French class staring desperately at the blank page in front of him, willing it to give him some clue. He hadn't written a single thing; the seconds seemed to be inching by so slowly, this class was never going to end. He glanced wistfully at Gordie's empty chair, where was he? Chris had arrived at class late and hadn't had time to think about Gordie's whereabouts but now he found his mind wandering. Wait. There was no time for this; he had to concentrate on French. Concentrate he commanded himself. He felt sure that everyone in the room knew that he hadn't written a single word down yet he found himself looking furtively around the room searching for accusing glares. I bet they're laughing at me he thought and glowered at his paper.

The teacher was silently taking attendance and suddenly she looked up in confusion.

"Christopher ou est Gordie?"

Chris jerked his head up. "Je ne sais pas." He mumbled, feeling the eyes of his classmates upon him. 

"I saw him out back." A pig like girl called Tanya offered.

"Out back?" Madame asked in surprise. "So he is in school today?"

"Yes m'am" Tanya replied. "I seen him out back with a bunch of other guys."

"Maybe he had to go see another teacher." Chris suggested, then immediately wondered why he was sticking up for Gordie again. 

Tanya laughed mockingly. "I don't think so, it looked to me like he was smoking" 

"Yeah" Tanya's friend Becky piped up. "He was with um what's that guy's name?"

"Terry Duchamp!" Tanya cried triumphantly.

"Yeah, yeah Terry that freaky boy with the glasses."

"Oh you mean 'Teddy'" another girl joined in. "Yeah he's that kid whose dad burnt his ear, right?"

"His dad's in an asylum!" Becky giggled.

"Girls, girls." Madame interrupted. "Get back to your tests."

Chris was frozen, his hands gripping the edge of his desk. He couldn't believe those nasty bitches and he couldn't believe Madam was letting them say stuff like that about Teddy. He couldn't get his mouth to form any words to argue back, he was speechless and he felt at once extremely helpless. Teddy is French he thought dully.

"Christopher?" Madame's voice broke through his stupor.

Chris wondered how many times she had said his name before he had heard her. "Yes m'am?"

"Take this message to the office." Madame held out a slip of paper. "If Mr Lachance thinks he can just cut my class then he will find that he cannot" Madame's eyes flashed angrily.

Chris climbed weakly to his feet; at least he was getting out of the test. He almost snatched the slip from Madame and stomped towards the door.

"Oh and Christopher, you may finish the test tomorrow lunchtime." Madame called just before the door shut.

Au revoir.


	12. Warning Gordie, Meeting Teddy

**Warning Gordie, meeting Teddy.**

Chris was halfway to the office when a thought occurred to him, he could go and warn Gordie and then help make up some excuse to explain why he had missed French. Sure it may be a long shot but he had to try, right? The only thing in the way of him doing this was his pride. Chris paused besides the door that led to outside, on the one hand Gordie had been kind of an asshat to him, on the other hand Gordie was his best friend and hadn't Gordie got himself in trouble only yesterday to help Chris? There was only one real option: find Gordie and get this mess straightened out. Chris nodded to himself and swung open the door, he stepped outside and walked purposely towards the buildings around the back. He knew that was where Duchamp and his gang tended to hang out and he guessed that Gordie was with them. Chris walked quickly so as to avoid bumping into a teacher. He was beginning to feel more and more apprehensive which was weird he knew these people; it was only Gordie and Teddy after all. 

Gordie had never smoked so many cigarettes in such a short time, he wondered as he lit his fifth in a row whether he was turning into a chain smoker. Teddy was telling him some stupid story involving Vern and baseball but Gordie was only half listening. Mostly he was thinking about what to say to Chris and what to tell his parents about last night. He was just imagining the look on his mother's face when he turned up tonight when he spotted a figure walking towards them

"Shit" Teddy hissed. "I ain't getting caught again!" He quickly stubbed his cigarette out and grabbed Gordie's arm.

Gordie wouldn't let Teddy drag him back; there was something so familiar about the way the figure was walking. It took him just a couple of seconds to realise who it was.

"It's Chris," he said in surprise.

"Chambers? What the fuck?" Teddy wondered out loud.

Chris walked up to them and stopped a couple of feet away. He looked a little mad; his eyes took in the entire scene in one sweep. Gordie nervously took a drag on his cigarette.

"Gordo." Chris said flatly. Then with reluctance, "hey Teddy."

"Chris." Teddy said evenly.

"Hey Chris, how was French?" Gordie asked.

Chris smiled faintly. "Great, just great."

Gordie smiled back nervously. "That's good."

"Listen Gordie, Madame sent me to Bonds about you, you're going to be in some serious shit. That Tanya girl told on you."

Gordie scowled. "Wonderful."

Chris frowned. "Hey man, I came to warn you so you could do something."

Gordie stubbed out his cigarette and ran a hand nervously through his hair. "What the fuck can I do?"

Chris shrugged. "Say you were at the nurse or something. I don't know, but you should get your ass inside and tell her something. Just bullshit her, man."

Gordie nodded. "I guess."

Teddy hadn't said anything he was just staring curiously at Chris. 

Chris noticed. "What do you want Duchamp?"

"How you been Chambers?" Teddy asked but there was a slight mocking tone in his voice, a smile behind the eyes.

"Good." Chris said evenly. "How about you?"

Teddy smirked. "Can't complain." He smirked. "Just wondering how your college courses are going man. Are you on the way to being president yet?"

Chris adopted a poker face. "They're going fine, thanks for asking."

"Good." Teddy said poisonously. "Cause I'd hate for you to have to drop them and join the shop courses. I know how much you'd fucking hate to have to associate with losers like us." 

Gordie glanced uneasily from Chris to Teddy and back to Chris again. You could cut the tension with a knife. To Gordie it felt like he was watching some complicated dance or a chess game; Teddy and Chris were going to back each other against the ropes if you know what I mean. This was a scene Gordie had been trying to avoid for months.

"Hey Chris maybe we should go back to French class" Gordie offered. "You're right, I'll just tell her some bullshit about having to go to the nurse or something."

Chris ignored him, his attention solely on Teddy. "You're right I would hate to have to take the shop courses but there's really no need for you to worry about me cause I'm going to pass." Chris paused. "I'm going to get out of this fucking town."

Teddy eyes glittered behind his glasses. "Good for you. Shame you had to turn into such a pussy to do it though."

Chris tried not to react but it was difficult. "Meaning?"

"You're not exactly the Chambers I remember is all" Teddy replied. "Chris Chambers I used to know wouldn't be kissing some teacher's ass."

"Eat shit!" Chris snapped.

Teddy began to laugh, "e ee eee e you fucking told me Chambers, e eee eee e e!"

"Fuck you." Chris said clearly and turned to leave.

Gordie followed Chris with a little reluctance. He felt like he were being stretched out between the two of them, being stretched out this thin never worked; something always snapped.

"Bye Teddy, see you in detention." He muttered as he followed Chris.

Teddy didn't answer; he was still laughing. "E e ee ee e! Fuck you Chambers! E ee ee ee e!"

They could hear him laughing the whole way inside. Gordie wondered if it would ever stop.


	13. Awkward Silences

**Awkward Silences.**

Despite Chris's efforts Madame did not believe Gordie's story at all and for the second day in a row he found himself in Mr Bonds office. Today he felt a little more nervous though, a little less justified in his actions. After all yesterday he had been sticking up for Chris.

Mr Bonds spent the first few minutes just glaring at Gordie as if he were some kind of cockroach, something that needed to be squashed. Quickly.

"Here we are again Lachance." Mr Bonds stood up and crossed to the window, he stared out coldly across the school grounds.

"Yes sir." Gordie answered after another minute's silence.

Mr Bonds turned around to face him. "Yesterday was some trouble with Christopher Chambers and today I hear you were with Teddy Duchamp."

Gordie just nodded; did this guy even have a point?

Mr Bonds scowled. "Two weeks detention" he declared.

Gordie stayed silent. He tried to do the 'Chris Chambers' and refrain from reacting. This however, was not what Mr Bonds was hoping for.

"Three weeks detention!" He thundered. "How does that sound?"

Gordie just nodded. It was kind of interesting to see how far he could push Bonds.

Mr Bonds was desperate for some kind of reaction, but what else could he do? Three weeks detention was excessive enough; it wasn't like he could add to it.

"Get out of here Lachance, I do not want to see you again for a while."

"Yes sir!" Gordie said in an artificially bright voice. Under his breath he whispered, "you asshole".

Mr Bonds' eyes widened. "What did you say boy?"

"Nothing Mr Bonds." Gordie said sweetly and let himself out.

Chris was waiting outside for Gordie and as the door swung open he jumped to his feet.

"Hey Chris." Gordie said dully.

"Gordo" Chris acknowledged. "How was it?"

"Three weeks detention." Gordie said, a faint smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

"Three weeks?" Chris couldn't believe it. "For skipping one class?"

"Yup" Gordie said flicking his hair irritably out of his eyes. "I'd hate to know what would have happened had I done something really bad like get three tardies in a row." He smirked.

Chris laughed slightly. "That guy sure is a bastard."

"Tell me about it," Gordie said.

They were walking along now, and just like that the conversation died. It was hard to put a finger on the change but it was there. Somehow their speech failed them and they lapsed into a moody silence. Chris idly kicked the ground, sending dust flying up from the old chipped floors.

"This place is falling apart," he offered.

Gordie nodded. "Don't I know it."

Chris sneaked a look at Gordie. His friend looked unusually morose, his brown eyes boring holes into the tiles.

"Gordie…" Chris began as they reached room 302 where Gordie was having detention.

"Yeah?" Gordie glanced up questioningly.

"Nothing." Chris said feeling the words die in his throat. He suddenly wanted to be far away. Never had he experienced such an awkward silence with his best friend. He wanted to say so much but he couldn't find any words. He wanted to help Gordie with his problems, he wanted to talk about Teddy, and he wanted to talk about his own problems. But somehow he couldn't say anything. He felt like anything he might say would just be another burden to Gordie. He hated the thought of his friend feeling even a trace of resentment to him. Chris Chambers stood alone, that was the way it had to be. With this realisation he felt a weight settle in his stomach and curl up and around his heart. Though earlier Gordie talking to Teddy rather than him had hurt him, now Chris felt like maybe it was a good thing. Okay, he would rather Gordie choose someone other than Teddy Duchamp to confide in but still maybe it was better than Gordie and he didn't rely on each other quite so much. Maybe.

"See you around." Chris said in an effort to be cheerful. Then he turned and left, resisting the urge to break into a run, at least until he'd rounded the corner.

Gordie watched his friend walk away and though he wanted to say something, anything, he kept silent. When Chris turned the corner and disappeared, Gordie turned around and opened the door to the detention room.

"You're late." The supervisor said, without even lifting his eyes from his page.

"Hey Gordie." Teddy mouthed.

"Hey" Gordie whispered and settled himself in a seat at the back. Twenty-four hours could be an amazingly large space of time.


	14. Crash and Burn

Hey, just one chapter update today because I'm really tired. Anyway, once again thank you so much to all my reviewers. I love you guys! Hope you enjoy this chapter and please R+R if you have anything to say about it. This is the chapter of my story where things really start to move.

**Crash and Burn.**

Chris didn't go straight home from school. Instead he wandered around Castle Rock. The town seemed to be shrinking each year and in his bones Chris felt a desire to fly away, to a city maybe, somewhere big where he could be swallowed up. 

   As he walked Chris thought back over the past twenty-four hours. Somewhere he had taken a wrong turn and he'd been walking blindly ever since. He guessed that he had made a mistake by being so angry at Gordie about the whole Teddy thing, but then why hadn't Gordie came to talk to him last night? In the back of his mind was that new idea that maybe, in this case, distance from Gordie was the best way. Chris hated the thought of backing away, but at the same time he was terrified that somehow his presence was having a very bad effect on Gordie's life. For years now Chris had watched with dismay as Gordie had stepped in time and time again and accepted gladly some of the blame for Chris's shortcomings. Back when they had first joined junior high Gordie had risked alienation from his peers and helped Chris catch up on all the work he had missed due to his own stupidity back in grammar school. Hanging out with a Chambers kid was not a popular option and Gordie had been teased mercilessly that first year of junior high before Chris had managed to make the transition and join him in the college courses. Of course when Chris had joined the classes the teasing hadn't exactly stopped, just Chris was more of a target, especially seeing as his grades that first year had been almost straight Ds with one B for History. 

   Chris was deep in thought and didn't realise until he almost tripped over that he was in front of his own house. The object he had tripped over was his younger brother's bike, which lay twisted on the sidewalk in front of their house. Chris gazed at the bike; this was definitely a bad sign. He transferred his gaze to the house and winced at the sight of the car parked (badly) across their sad excuse for a lawn. The screen door hung open. All of this added up to something very bad; Mr Chambers was home and in a bad way. 

   Chris bit his lip, battling between turning around and running and the other option, the hard one, to go inside the house. The hard option was of course the only real one. You can't keep running forever. Chris squared his shoulders and walked up the path to the house. He found himself shivering despite the warmth of the day. 

"Let's go," he whispered to himself and reached for the door handle.

   As soon as Chris walked in his front door he realised he'd made a terrible mistake coming home. Mr Chambers stood larger than life itself in the living room over his cowering mother and younger sister and brother. Mr Chambers wore the look of someone who had taken a bath in a vat of vodka; his eyes were bloodshot and wild. Even from his position at the front door Chris could smell the liquor. Chris was frozen to the spot and watched in horror as his Dad whacked his mother across the face sending her off her feet. Chris felt like he was watching a movie, a movie that sadly he had seen many times before. He found himself striding forwards; somewhere between the front door and the living room he discarded his backpack. He walked straight up to his dad.

"Stop it," Chris said firmly.

Mr Chambers whirled around. "Mind your fucking business!" He made a wild swing, which Chris dodged and managed to avoid.

Chris planted himself in front of his siblings. "Get out of here," he said and his voice was steely.

In the corner his mother was trying to climb to her feet. Chris noticed with dismay that she too had been drinking. "Hel-lo Christopher," she said in a weird sing-song voice.

Mr Chambers turned back to his wife. "I told you to shut up!" he roared and slapped her again.

Chris reached out and grabbed his dad's arms from behind trying desperately to restrain him.

"Get out of here!" Chris cried but this time he was talking to his mother.

Mrs Chambers stood with difficulty. Once up she drew the other children to her and they made to leave.

"Bye-bye Chris!" his sister called sadly. Chris's younger brother sent him a sad haunted look. "Good luck," he whispered brokenly.

   Chris struggled with Mr Chambers, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. Chris was the same height as his father now but Mr Chambers was broader and packed a lot more weight behind his punches. With an animal-like cry, Mr Chambers broke free of Chris's grip. Chris stepped back hoping he could make it to the door. He was not so lucky. Mr Chambers launched himself at his son. As the first blows rained down Chris managed to dodge a few, his arms up to protect his face. He would not fight back, that would only make the situation a thousand times worse.

"Dad!" Chris cried as his dad's fist connected with his cheekbone. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"

Mr Chambers was laughing now. "What's a matter Christopher?" He slurred landing a punch at Chris's stomach.

   Chris doubled over, the pain was excruciating. He hadn't taken a beating like this in oh at least a couple of months. He staggered backwards, crashed into the doorway. Mr Chambers hit him square in his left eye, which almost immediately swelled and closed up.

"Don't you tell me how to fucking run my family," Mr Chambers snapped angrily and punched Chris once more this time on his neck. The punch landed right on the old bruise and the combined effect made Chris feel dizzy. Stars swam in front of his eyes, he couldn't get his balance back and woozily he swayed back and forth, finally collapsing to the ground.

   Mr Chambers stood over his son for a few minutes and smirked. "That'll teach you to tell me how to run my fucking family you slimy little bastard." He delivered a final kick to Chris's ribs then turned and left.

   Chris lay on the floor, his spirit residing somewhere down in his feet. He felt sick all over and his stomach was heaving. Finally his stomach rebelled and lying on his side he vomited. This definitely ranked as one of the worst days of his life.


	15. Welcome Home Lachance Style

Okay first I realise that chapter fifteen is ridiculously short and I apologise for that. It is short because I wanted to separate out the sections and chapter sixteen would not run on with this one, if you know what I mean. Anyway I'm posting a few chapters today to make up for the shortness of this one!! 

Thanks to all my reviewers: Aleka (I love your writing!), White Moth (I love 'Truly Madly Deeply'!), Fallen Angel of Evanescence, Hannah, Bella, Royce, Anna, Arianna, Emily, Georgia and Britt, you guys are great! (If I missed anyone I am so sorry!) Also even though I know she can't review, Masked Penguin cause her story is awesome. 

Okay maybe this will seem really arrogant and stuff -I really hope it doesn't- only if anybody ever feels like reading a poem I wrote, please check out 'The Phoenix'. It's my favourite poem that I've ever written and it means a lot to me so if you ever felt like checking it out…. you don't need to review it but I would just like people to see it, if that make sense…. Anyway here we go with the next chapters, I really hope you enjoy reading them.

**Welcome home Lachance style.**

Gordie unlocked the front door to his house as quietly as possible and slipped inside. He dropped his bag at the bottom of the stairs and paused, again trying to work out where his mother was. He heard the clattering of pots and pans and walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Mom," Gordie said and sat down on one of the stools that lined the counter.

His mom was at the sink looking out the window. When Gordie entered she didn't even turn around. "Hello Gordon," she said distractedly. "How was school?"

Gordie waited to hear a trace of anger or resentment in her voice, but there was none. She was just as warm -or as cold depending on how you looked at it- as she had always been. He should have known. Since he was no more than a little inconvenience in the Lachance household there was no reason for anyone to wonder where he had been the night before.

"School was bitchin!'" Gordie lied. He almost wanted his mom to yell at him, to something him.

"That's nice dear" his mom responded automatically. There was a pause then she seemed to shake herself out of her stupor. "What did you say?"

"Nothing ma." Gordie hopped up off the stool and started to leave the room. He felt a weird feeling bubbling in his veins, shit that was disappointment. 

Gordie ran upstairs and into the bathroom, he locked the door and stared at the mirror.

"Fuck you mom!" He yelled at his reflection, and then he waited to see if she had heard. There was no sign that she had, no hurried footsteps up outside the bathroom door. 

"Goddammit" Gordie whispered to himself. He leaned close in to the mirror, his hair was still sticking up and his eyes were a little bloodshot. He looked a mess and she hadn't even noticed. When was the last time she had noticed him? Probably the day he was born and only in passing on the way to worshipping at the eight-year-old Denny's feet. Uh-oh that felt like resentment, resentment aimed at Denny. Gordie closed his eyes and tried to will it out his head but it wouldn't go, it was sticking there in his mind.

"Fuck you Denny" Gordie whispered sadly then he sat down on the floor and cried.


	16. Save Me

**Save me.**

When Chris came to, he found the house eerily quiet. His whole face hurt and there was a throbbing pain in his rib cage. He stood up and wandered into the bathroom, wincing with each step. He stared blearily into the mirror, his nose was bloodied and swollen, over his left eye was an ugly bruise already turning purple. The bruise crept over his cheekbone and right up to his left eyebrow. Chris gingerly peeled off his t-shirt, wincing as he pulled the light material over his head. His torso was red and swollen and over a couple of his ribs was a deep purple and red blotch. He wondered whether his ribs might be broken. 

   Chris stepped into automatic mode and with a cloth gently washed away the blood from his nose, gritting his teeth against the waves of pain that washed over him. This situation was all too familiar and yet it still left him with despair. He knew already that he wouldn't be in school tomorrow; this beating was going to leave lasting imprints.

  Once Chris had washed his face he went through to the room where he and his siblings slept and silently changed clothes. His ribs were really hurting, he felt certain they must be broken. Chris sat down on his bed and tried to think, he had to get out of the house tonight. He had no idea where his mom had gone and he knew his dad would be back soon. Deciding to just go take a walk and see if he could figure something out, Chris stood up and left. He left the house unlocked, there was no way anyone could possibly want to burgle the Chambers, what did they have that anyone could possibly want?

After Gordie stopped crying he considered doing some homework but quickly rejected that idea, schoolwork seemed so unimportant. He went downstairs and left without speaking to his mom at all. Gordie felt too angry and confused and the thing was he knew whatever he did was never going to make a bit of difference; he was always just going to be 'Denny's younger brother' to his parents.

   Outside The Blue Point Diner Gordie ran into Teddy and a girl he didn't know.

"Hey Gordie!" Teddy exclaimed greeting him with a 'friendly' punch in the shoulder.

"Hey Teddy," Gordie replied.

"This is Sarah," Teddy said proudly.

"Hey," Sarah said shyly, glancing up at Gordie from under long blond bangs. "I'm sorry I was just leaving, but maybe we can talk some other time."

Sarah disentangled herself from Teddy, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before turning and walking away. Gordie and Teddy watched her leave.

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend," Gordie said.

Teddy smiled. "She's more than that man, she's my fuckin' saviour."

Chris wound up on the outskirts of Castle Rock and he was just about to turn and go back into town when he spotted his brother Eyeball and the rest of his gang. Chris braced himself for the attack.

"Hey look Eyeball, here's your brother," Ace Merrill said, his eyes lighting up.

Eyeball turned around to see Chris. "How is the little bastard?" he asked but his voice lacked that certain 'Eyeball' quality. He had seen the bruises; he knew Mr Chambers was on the warpath.

Chris just nodded and stood his ground; crossing his arms across his chest he surveyed the Cobras with a cool, detached air.

Ace stepped forwards and nonchalantly struck a match off his shoe, he lit a cigarette then leaned forwards and put the match out against Chris's skin. Ace laughed slightly. Chris refused to react, it hurt sure, but since everything hurt right now there was really no point making a scene.

"Why didn't you answer?" Ace stage whispered. "C'mon you little bastard your brother wants to know how you are."

Chris turned cold blue eyes on Ace. "Shouldn't you be out with your mother or maybe if she's unavailable, a sheep or a goat? Hey you're not fussy." He was entirely deadpan; maybe if he got Ace mad enough Ace would kill him and put an end to his misery.

Ace's eyes widened. "Take that back you little son of a bitch, fuckin' now!"

Chris just smiled, a cold smile as if from far away. Ace made to punch him but Eyeball suddenly stepped in between them.

"Hey man" Eyeball said to Ace. "I'll go talk to Christopher, no fuckin' strain, you just stay here." Eyeball grabbed Chris by the collar of his shirt and dragged him a few paces away. 

Chris glared at his brother but to his surprise Eyeball didn't look mad. In fact Eyeball just looked sad. Eyeball didn't live at home anymore, he lived and worked at the local garage along with Ace and a couple of other guys including Vern Tessio's brother, Billy.

"Shit Chris, Dad did this to you?" Eyeball said with the first trace of brotherly love Chris had ever heard from him.

Chris nodded.

"Listen" Eyeball whispered. "I know a place you can stay tonight if you don't want to go back there, you dig me?"

Chris nodded again.

"This girl I know will probably let you crash at her house for a couple of nights," Eyeball explained. "I'll take you there now."

Eyeball turned back to his jd buddies. "I'll back in fuckin' five minutes," he called. "Gotta take this little bastard home."

Eyeball turned back to Chris and there was silence but it was almost comfortable. The two brothers started walking together and Chris mused to himself how strange life could be; one minute you're up and one minute you're down and sometimes even Eyeball will catch you.


	17. A Place To Crash

**A Place To Crash.**

Eyeball took Chris to the house of one of his ex girlfriends. One of the nicer ones he assured Chris, not like that Jane Lawson who when Eyeball had broken up with her had scratched her initials into the Chambers car along with the immortal words 'Eyeball loves Ace'. Eyeball had just about died when he'd seen it, knowing that if Ace happened upon it he would literally kick him into the next week. Chris had spent a 'happy' morning helping Eyeball sandpaper the words from the car and though the results were not pretty and they had both suffered hugely at the hands of Mr Chambers, the words had faded enough so that if you didn't know about them you would never find them. Of course Chris had told a few people but that's another story.

   "Here we go man," Eyeball said, stopping in front of a house even smaller than his own. Eyeball thumped on the door with his fist. "Jillian!" he yelled.

   Presently the door swung open and a tired looking girl of about nineteen stood behind it. The first thing Chris noticed was that she was a lot prettier than most of Eyeball's girlfriends (Eyeball wasn't exactly the best looking guy in the world or the smartest or the nicest or…) and the second thing was that she looked exhausted.

   "Hey Richie," she said glumly. "Come to see your kid?"

  Now it took Chris a good thirty seconds for that particular sentence to be processed, then he looked in shock at his brother. Eyeball didn't look so shocked just sheepish and guilty. Did she say Eyeball's kid? What was with today? 

   "Your kid?" Chris croaked after what seemed like a year of silence had passed.

   "Yeah, his kid, his daughter to be exact." Jillian crossed her arms.

   "Yes well be that as it may" Eyeball said smoothly, "I have a huge favour to ask of you darlin'. This is my kid brother Chris and as you can see he's not in the best shape. Can he crash here tonight?"

   "If it's not too much trouble," Chris added hastily, his mind still buzzing with the thought of his brother being a father.

   Jillian looked from one Chambers to the other, her lips pursued. "I guess so," she said finally. "But you've gotta stop in and see your kid."

   Eyeball looked kind of annoyed now. "You know that it may not be my kid Jillian," he said angrily. "It's only a possibility."

   Jillian looked at Eyeball as if he were poison. "That kid is yours!" she snapped. "How dare you even suggest that she's not! Shit, I thought you had finally grown up but it don't look like it."

   Eyeball frowned. "Nothin's definite" he said sullenly and he had lost some of his earlier charm, he had gone back to being Eyeball. Uh-oh, Chris had the feeling that Eyeball was going to make this girl take back her offer.

   "Maybe we should just leave," Chris suggested weakly.

   Jillian looked at Chris more closely. "Holy crap" she exclaimed. "You look like you had a run in with a truck. Come on inside." She paused, then "not you Richie, you can fuck off."

   Chris glanced warily at his brother but Eyeball just smiled and laughed.

   "Bye Christopher." A pause. "Bye Jillian darlin'."

   Eyeball turned and sauntered off down the walk, his duty finished.

  Chris followed Jillian inside. He felt nervous and out of place. The house was very small and crowded. From where he was standing there seemed to be about three rooms, the main room, a tiny bedroom and a bathroom. In the corner was a cot but the baby was silent. Jillian took an armful of clothes and stuff off the sofa and gestured for Chris to sit down.

   "I'm Jillian Mackenzie," she said sitting next to him. She was short with long black hair in a braid down her back.

   "Chris Chambers" he said in a voice barely louder than a whisper. "Does anyone else live here?"

   "You're in luck, usually my mom would be here but she's away this week" Jillian smiled in a sad wintry way. "Then there's me and little Aimee." She pointed at the cot in the corner.

   Chris stood up and moved towards the cot. "May I?" he asked.

   Jillian nodded and also stood up. "Sure, I'll go get you something to drink, the stuff's in the bedroom"

   Jillian left the room and Chris moved over to peer down into the cot. Little Aimee was asleep but she woke up when he arrived. Chris panicked thinking she was going to scream but she just stared up at him curiously. Chris tried to see whether the kid had any Chambers qualities. It was hard to tell. 

   "I hope you're not a Chambers, kid." he whispered, "it's a curse; we're sinking before we even hit water."

   Chris smiled sadly down at the baby and reached down a hand. Aimee grabbed onto his index finger and clung on.

   "You're nothing like your brother are you?"

   Chris whirled around, Jillian was standing in the doorway holding two bottles of coke, and she was wearing a strange expression.

   "No m'am" Chris replied. He didn't know why but 'm'am' seemed the right way to address Jillian.

   "That's a good thing," Jillian said. "Believe me, that's a very good thing."

   She walked over and handed Chris a bottle of coke. "She's definitely Richie's kid," Jillian whispered and her eyes were full of tears.

   Chris nodded. "I know." He found that his eyes were welling up too and this had nothing to do with the pain in his ribs.


	18. Trust Your Instincts

Here are the next three chapters of the story. Thank you so much for the reviews, I love to hear which parts of the story you are enjoying most. I *heart* reviews! I'm happy to be posting the next few chapters mainly because I'm pretty pleased with the way chapter twenty in particular turned out. Just to warn you, these chapters are mostly description not dialogue, hope that's okay! Also chapter nineteen is pretty short (sorry about that). Anyway enough from me, here's the story and have a great weekend!

**Trust Your Instincts.**

Gordie was just hanging out with Teddy and a couple of others guys in the Blue Point Diner of all places. The conversation was mostly fixed around girls and cars, decent enough topics, but tonight Gordie's mind was wandering. He missed Chris. Chris could make him laugh with a single word. Chris was his best friend and Gordie had screwed things up today. A group of girls arrived and sat at the next table, immediately Teddy and the other guys were trying to impress them. Gordie rolled his eyes as Charlie Connors and Toby Watson started arm wrestling. The whole situation made him feel like he were about fourteen again and he realised with some sadness that he had outgrown these people. In a way it wasn't sad, it was just fact. It was just life and he remembered what Chris had told him one day so long ago 'some people drown, it's not fair but some people drown'.

One of the girls came and sat besides him, she seemed more intelligent than the others, although that wasn't saying a great deal.

"Hi Gordie," she said smiling brightly. "I'm Emma." She stuck out her hand and he found himself shaking it with some surprise.

"Hey Emma," Gordie said feeling his throat go a little dry.

"You friends with Teddy?" she asked.

"Yeah we go way back." Gordie smiled slightly.

"I haven't seen you around before," Emma mused. "I used to go out with Teddy and I don't remember your name being mentioned. Sorry that wasn't supposed to be an insult, no offence right?"

"None taken," Gordie said, then "you used to go with Teddy?"

"Yeah but now I go with Vern," Emma said and she smiled fondly.

"Vern?" Gordie was incredulous. "You go with Vern?"

"Sure," Emma replied. "He's a lot of fun."

"Yeah but … but Vern?" Gordie couldn't find words he was so surprised.

"What's a matter with Vern?" Emma asked and her demeanour had changed slightly. "He's a sweet, honest guy."

"I guess." Gordie shrugged.

Emma frowned. "Where do you get off acting all high and mighty?" she asked sharply. "You don't even look like you took a shower today" she said gesturing to his messy hair and face, which was still somewhat dirty.

"That's cause I didn't take a shower today" Gordie replied, not bothering to be polite.

"Why?"

"Cause I didn't alright."

"You slept in the tree house last night," Emma said triumphantly.

"So?" Gordie asked.

"With Teddy!" she continued. "I mean you slept there and so did Teddy, nothing funny," she laughed weakly.

Gordie shot her a dark look. "How'd you know I was in the tree house?"

"I know everything Gordie Lachance," she said trying to be mysterious but failing miserably. "I know who you are and where you live."

"So does everyone!" Gordie snapped impatiently.

"I know Chris Chambers is your best friend" Emma continued, "He's in trouble."

"Liar" Gordie said and somewhere inside his head the sixteen year old Gordie was all 'what the hell is this eleven year old Gordie doing speaking and controlling my thoughts?'

"No lie, sincerely," Emma burst out. "I seen him and he looked hurt."

"You're lying," Gordie said but his voice lacked conviction.

"I'm not," Emma said simply. Then, "you're strange you know that?"

"So is your mother," Gordie said wearily and stood up.

"Wait," Emma said and she stood up too and gave him a hug. "Good bye Gordie Lachance, it was nice to meet you."

Gordie didn't reply he just started walking. He slapped Teddy's shoulder in good-bye, and then he was out the door and walking along the street. He thought about what Emma had said, was Chris really in trouble? There was only one way to find out, Gordie turned around and headed back across the town to the Chambers' house. He had to see Chris and get this whole thing sorted out.


	19. Mr Lachance To The Rescue

**Mr Lachance to the Rescue**

Gordie was halfway to Chris's house when a familiar car drew up to the sidewalk next to him and an even more familiar face loomed out the window.

"Gordon."

"Yes Dad?" Gordie said not even turning to look at him.

"Gordon, get in the car."

"Dad I have to go do something." Gordie protested but in reply his dad simply killed the engine, vaulted from the car and came to stand directly in front of his son.

"We're going home now," Mr Lachance, said and there was something a little like loathing in his voice. "You're worrying your mother."

"Really?" Gordie asked and tried in vain to duck around his father.

"Gordon" Mr Lachance said warningly. "It's a school night and this is ridiculous, you can't keep running off like this."

"Denny wouldn't have done this huh dad?" Gordie asked bitterly, stopping and crossing his arms resignedly across his chest.

Mr Lachance scowled. "Get in the goddamn car Gordon" he said in a low voice.

"Get in the goddamn car," Gordie parroted. "That's poetry Dad, sincerely."

Mr Lachance looked furious; you could practically taste his fury. "Get in the car Gordon, you've got ten seconds."

"Then what?" Gordie asked. "What you going to do Dad?"

"Ten," his dad said clearly.

"You going to hit me Dad? You going to hit me?" Gordie's voice rose and seemed to echo in the empty street. It was getting late, he was tired both physically and mentally but he had reached the wall. He had reached his breaking point with his parents; he no longer cared what they did or what they thought. I will not drown he thought and stubbornly refused to move from the path.

"Nine."

Gordie didn't move, he fixed his dad with a cold look.

"Eight."

Mr Lachance glared back at his son and Gordie knew he wanted to hit him. Fortunately despite his faults Mr Lachance wasn't the violent type. Seconds seemed like minutes, minutes like hours and they were still standing on the path facing each other.

"Three." Mr Lachance mopped his brow, it was October but it was still warm in Castle Rock and the stress was making him sweat. "Two."

Mr Lachance stared hard at his son. "Don't make me do this son, get in the car."

Gordie called his bluff. "What are you going to do Dad?"

Mr Lachance was almost smiling. "Your Aunt May down in Arizona says she'd be happy to have you for a few months if not longer."

"You would send me away?" Gordie asked and there was shock mixed in with his defiance. Arizona? He could not leave Castle Rock, everything was here, Chris was here and Chris needed him.

"Yes," Mr Lachance said with conviction. "Get in the car Gordon."

Gordie couldn't think clearly, his mind was filled with different conflicting thoughts and he realised he was scared; he believed his father, if he didn't get in the car then he would be on the way to Arizona within a week. This was no bluff or if it was, it was some damn good bluffing.

Reluctantly, and feeling his failure with every step, Gordie got into the car. His father smiled somewhat smugly and climbed in. The ride home was silent. Gordie brooded in the front seat, everything was a mess and no matter which way he turned he just made it worse. He felt failure and guilt creeping in all around him. Turning away from his dad, Gordie sent a silent prayer up that tomorrow would be better and that Chris would be safe. It wasn't too much to ask, was it?****


	20. A Million Stars

**A Million Stars**

As Gordie was arriving at home, Chris woke up abruptly on the other side of town. He was disorientated and it took him a couple of minutes to realise where he was. Then the pain hit. His whole side felt like it was on fire, the pain in his ribs sent shudders up and down his body. He could barely even sit up. 

"Shiiiiiiiit" Chris whispered and the syllable stretched into nothingness. 

Chris forced himself to sit up then stand up and then he hobbled to the window and looked outside.

It was a cloudless night and he could see the stars overhead. Chris liked the night, it was so peaceful, night was friendlier than day; night did not judge. Chris opened the front door as quietly as possible and stepped outside. He stood on the grass and gazed into the sky. It helped him think. Chris reached in the pocket of his jeans and removed his rosary beads. He didn't even know whether he believed in God but the rosary comforted him and clutching it in one hand he sat down on the damp grass. 

   His primary concern tonight was his family. Chris prayed that Mr Chambers had not returned to the house tonight, sometimes he found himself wishing his father would die. The thought shocked him; he was the peacemaker not the violent one. But the thought persisted and on empty, starry nights like this one he found his thoughts drifting to a world without Mr Chambers. Chris hated his dad with everything he had, he hated everything his dad represented. Mr Chambers was the ultimate villain, he had never supported his son in any way and he had the whole family under his control. Chris knew in a vague distant way that his mom cared for him, but the truth was for all practical purposes the only person Chris had ever really been able to rely on was Gordie. This brought him to his second concern. Gordie was spiralling away under stress and Chris did not know how to help him. He wished he knew what to say but he couldn't. Unlike Chris, Gordie lived life through feelings. The fact that Gordie lived on his feelings and the opinions of others made his parents rejection of him all the more painful. Gordie didn't like to talk about it much, but Chris knew that Gordie was living in a house where he was silently hated or worse than that, ignored completely. Sometimes Chris felt hatred towards Gordie's father. Sometimes when he saw how Gordie searched for his father's approval he felt almost sick inside.

  It hit Chris like a ton of bricks then why this argument with Gordie was tearing him up so much. Neither boy had much of a family. They had few other friends and though at times they had girlfriends it had never amounted to much yet. All they really had was each other; if they turned their backs on this friendship then they were effectively abandoning ship. But at the same time this reliance on each other was just as damaging. Worse than that, Chris feared deep inside that he was holding Gordie back. Now that was the kind of thought that could keep him up at night. Forget Mr Chambers, forget school, forget everyone. Everyone except Gordie.

Chris looked at the stars and wished they could answer him. 

Gordie lay on his bed and scribbled words down in a notebook, not a story, not a diary, just random sentences. He felt lost and he kept thinking about what Emma had told him. Maybe she was just lying he reasoned, after all she didn't seem that sharp and how would she know anyway? 

He had his window open and the sounds of the night crept into his room. Castle Rock was so quiet at this time, so dead. Gordie wished his father would go to sleep so he could sneak out and visit Chris but he could still hear him in the next room. He was trapped and helpless.

   It was a long time before Gordie fell asleep.

Across town Teddy had just arrived at the tree house. As he pulled himself up the ladder he felt a weird loneliness strike him. He was not tired and he couldn't sleep even if he wanted to; his mind was full. Teddy sat down on the bench seat inside and gazed out the window. He lit a cigarette but instead of smoking it he just kept it in his hand and watched the smoke curl upwards towards the stars. Starry nights like this kept him up. He felt like his thoughts could roam all the way across the universe, and back again without being stopped. The sky was limitless and intimidating.

   Like most nights like this Teddy found himself thinking about his father. When he was younger his father had been complete, a hero, a good man. Now he was older and less innocent and his mind spat out harsh questions. Teddy rubbed his left ear and felt the familiar sickness in the back of his throat. He tried not to think about his ears, he wore his blond hair long to cover them and he was so accustomed to it, that he barely noticed the thin wire of his hearing aid that snaked down the front of his t-shirt and into the box he kept in his pocket. But on nights like this he thought of nothing else. Who was Mr Duchamp? Teddy no longer knew. He remembered every comment that anyone ever uttered about his father and now they echoed in his mind and they confused him. Teddy wished he could simply love his father like he had before but he couldn't, it was no longer that simple. Mr Duchamp had burned his ears; his father was the reason he had to wear a hearing aid. How could his father be a good man if he had done that? Teddy tried to wave the thoughts away but they stuck in his mind. His father was a good man, wasn't he? 'He stormed the beaches' Teddy muttered to himself but the words no longer convinced him. How could he have lost faith in his father? It was inconceivable, if he lost faith in his father that was the end. 

Teddy put his cigarette out on his arm in punishment, how could he even be thinking these thoughts? Then he closed his eyes and tried to banish the thoughts to another realm, away from him so that he could just sleep in peace. But the universe is vast and his thoughts roamed all night amongst the stars. A million stars.


	21. I Ran All The Way Home

Here are the next few chapters. I hope you enjoy them. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, I really appreciate it. Just one point to make, someone mentioned a spelling mistake and I thought it was strange so I checked and found that both 'realise' and 'realize' are correct (check a dictionary if you don't believe me). Anyway this isn't some defensive "don't criticize blahblahblah" comeback, it's just the truth. Constructive criticism is a good thing because it can help me to improve. 'Realise' is how I've been taught to spell it and that's how I always do, same with analyse (analyze) and harmonise (harmonize) etc…Anyway enough babbling, thank you for the reviews everyone!! Sorry it's been such a long week since I last updated!

**I ran all the way home.**

The next day at school Gordie noticed immediately that Chris was absent. He had arrived at school early in the hope of meeting Chris before homeroom but he saw that his friend was not there. Gordie tried to stay hopeful. Maybe Chris was just late. 

But by lunchtime he had to admit something was wrong. 

The teachers barely even noticed Chris was absent, it still happened pretty regularly. Although Chris didn't play truant as much as he once had, he still did occasionally, sometimes because he was tired or wanted to miss a particular class and sometimes it was because he was too lame to come in. 

Gordie was praying it was the former but the alarm inside his head was screaming, Chris was too hurt to come to school today. The thought was disgusting and all the more so because it was the truth. Gordie had seen his friend beaten so many times over the past ten years and always Chris waved it away but lately the attacks seemed to be getting worse. Gordie could not wait until the end of the day to find out what was going on, he had to do something now.

During lunch hour Gordie sneaked out of the building and round the back to where Teddy and the gang hung out.

"Teddy man I need help."

"Yeah Lachance we been saying that for years," Teddy joked. Gordie noticed that he had deep purple circles under his eyes and was not his usual 'upbeat' self. It was something that would have to be examined, later.

"No man seriously, I gotta sneak out the grounds."

"You ditchin last period?" Teddy asked and there was a strange note of pride in his voice. "Alright!"

"It's Chris man," Gordie paused and then in a lower voice so only Teddy could hear. "He ain't here, I'm thinking his dad fucked him up again."

Teddy nodded, and then in a more sober voice, "If you cut down by the baseball field, next to the bleachers the fence is broken, you should be able to get out there, But, you gotta be quick else someone will see you." He spoke with the steely confidence of someone with experience of doing just that.

Gordie smiled. "Thanks man." He turned to leave.

"Hey Lachance!"

Gordie turned back around. Teddy was standing with his hands in his pockets, staring serenely at the sky, he looked at Gordie and his face was serious. It seemed as if some wise words were about to be spoken by Teddy Duchamp. Gordie found himself holding his breath.

"If you get caught, don't fuckin' mention my name."

Gordie managed to slip out unnoticed and before long he was hurrying along the main street in Castle Rock. He kept his head down and wore his baseball cap low over his eyes so no one would recognise him. He hurried past the Blue Point Diner, sometimes his ma ate lunch there and if she saw him, he was dead. He arrived at Chris's house a little past one o'clock and found it strangely quiet. Gordie walked up onto the porch and almost tripped over an empty bottle lying on the top step. With trepidation he knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" yelled a voice from inside. It sounded like Chris's mom.

"It's Gordie um Gordon Lachance," Gordie called back. "Is Chris there?"

He heard footsteps and presently the door swung open revealing Mrs Chambers. She stared blearily at him; she had a bruise on her right cheekbone and her eyes were wild.

"Christopher ain't here," she said. "You're his friend huh? I don't know where he went but probably he be back soon though." She went to shut the door.

Gordie stuck his foot in the door wincing as the wood made contact with his big toe and bounced back. For some reason, in movies this move looked effortless and painless. It wasn't.

"I really need to know where he is," Gordie persisted. "Please Mrs Chambers."

"I don't know," she repeated and then in a softer tone, "if he turn up today, I'll tell him you was here."

She shut the door before he could respond and Gordie was left staring hatefully at the closed door. 

He stepped off the porch and tried to think. He was angry and running out of time; if he missed detention then Bonds would go crazy. Gordie decided to wander down to the garage and see if Eyeball knew where Chris was. The thought didn't exactly fill him with happiness but it was the best he'd had. Turning around, Gordie gave the Chambers's house the finger then took off running to the garage.


	22. Let The Good Times Roll

**Let The Good Times Roll.**

As Gordie was running down the main street to the garage, Chris was sat on Jillian Mackenzie's front step drinking a coke. Jillian was inside talking to her mom and he didn't like to intrude. He had woken that morning early, determined to get out of Jillian's hair but she had assured him repeatedly that it wasn't necessary. She had seemed a little shocked at his appearance and Chris wasn't surprised, he knew he looked like hell. Almost the whole left side of his face was covered in an angry purple bruise; around his eye was a blood red ring. His face was swollen and sore and his left eye only opened a little. His rib cage was covered in a blue-purple bruise and there were several little cuts on his cheeks, neck and arms. 

Sat in the shade Chris felt inconspicuous and that was somewhat comforting; he wanted to disappear into the ground. This wasn't the worst beating Chris had ever taken from his father. Back in sixth grade after the whole milk money disaster his dad had broken his wrist. He wasn't worried about his appearance, cuts heal, and scars fade. It was the mental wounds that you had to worry about. Chris was broken, dying inside. Around his heart seemed to be a hard case that thickened each day, eventually nobody would get through to him. That was the way to survive; no one could touch him. Thinking this Chris smiled to himself, and though it was a broken, awful smile he felt a flicker of happiness. Survival was all that mattered.

Gordie arrived at the garage out of breath and saw that though Eyeball was indeed there, so was Ace and Billy Tessio. Wonderful, an audience was exactly what he needed.

"If it isn't Lachance" Ace called out in a sickly sweet tone. "What you after you little sonofawhore?"

"Where's Chris?" Gordie asked and he felt a little shake in his voice. Goddammit.

"How the fuck should we know?" Billy Tessio snapped. "You're his fuckin girlfriend, not us."

Eyeball and Ace laughed appreciatively. Gordie tried not to react but it was so hard. He felt anxious and in ordinary circumstances you never let a guy get away with a comment like that. It was pussy to allow a guy to say shit like that without even calling them on it.

"Where's Chris? Come on Eyeball, if you know just fucking tell me!" Gordie was desperate.

Eyeball had been idly messing under the hood of the car parked out front but now he jerked his head up and looked at Gordie more carefully. Eyeball and Chris weren't close at all, and ordinarily Eyeball would have been laughing at this little show, but the fact was he knew Chris had been in some serious shit last night with Mr Chambers and the memory of his own run-ins with his dad were still pretty fresh. 

"Maybe I know," he said carefully.

Billy glanced over at him in surprise. Then, "yeah maybe we know, but why should we tell you?"

Gordie glanced carefully between the two older boys. Billy was bluffing no doubt about it; he knew shit. Eyeball on the other hand did know something.

Ace leaned against the car. "I saw that fucking sumbitch last night," he said. "Maybe I'll tell you where he went."

"Fuckin' tell me man," Gordie cried. "Shit it's important!"

Eyeball came to stand next to Ace. 

Gordie swallowed hard he felt out of his depth. Generally his path rarely crossed the Cobras anymore and if it did Chris was usually with him. Without Chris, Gordie felt about twelve years old again, except this time he didn't have a gun.

"What you gonna do for us if we tell you?" Eyeball asked.

"What do you want?" Gordie asked warily. With these guys it could be anything.

"What do you got Lachance?" Billy asked.

"I'll fuckin' pay you!" Gordie cried desperately. "Just tell me where Chris is!"

"How much?"

"Five dollars" Gordie said then seeing their sceptical looks, "ten dollars." The fact that he didn't have ten dollars seemed of little importance.

"Okay," Ace said. "When you going to give us the money?"

"Tomorrow," Gordie promised. 

"He was at the Mackenzie house. Take Sunset right down to the church and then that little street just off it. Fuckin' Rivers edge or some shit, she lives at number ten," Eyeball said, then spat on the ground at Gordie's feet.

"Thanks," Gordie managed. "I'll bring you the money tomorrow."

"Go find your girlfriend kid," Billy said.

"Fuck you" Gordie said evenly, once he could overlook but fucking twice? No way could he ignore that.

To his surprise Ace and Eyeball didn't move to attack him or anything and even Billy looked kind of bored by the whole thing. Guess some things do change.


	23. I'll Stand By You

**I'll Stand By You**

Chris was just finishing his coke when he saw a figure come running down the street towards him. He realised who it was too late to do anything and then Gordie was standing right in front of him. 

"Oh my God," Gordie whispered. He was almost speechless with horror.

Chris tried to smile around the bruises but he couldn't quite fake it. "What's up man?" he asked.

"What…. what happened?" Gordie choked out. Even though it was pretty obvious, he still had to ask. He felt frozen. Sure, he had been expecting that Chris had taken a beating but the severity of this attack both shocked and amazed him.

Chris stood up. "Nothin' much." He shrugged. "My dad's on kind of a mean streak, you know how it is." Then, as if realising what poor justice his words did he smiled wryly.

Gordie opened his mouth but no sound came out. He tried to formulate a sentence, hell a single word would do but nothing came. 

"It's not as bad as it looks," Chris said. "You didn't need to come all the way over here." Then as the thought occurred to him, "how'd you know where I was?"

"Eyeball," Gordie said and the word caught in his throat so that it came out in a weird jerky way.

"Yeah?" Chris asked, and then more quietly "that bastard never could keep a secret."

Gordie found his voice. "Why did it have to be a secret?"

"You don't need to worry about me Gordie," Chris said and there was a note of impatience in his voice. "I can take care of myself."

Gordie felt all twisted up inside. Chris's rejection had struck something and he felt wrenched all over the place. 

"*Nobody* can handle this shit alone," Gordie said.

   Chris looked away and his blue eyes were dead so that when he turned back to Gordie, Gordie felt a chill go all the way down to his toes. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of him. Chris's eyes were empty and his skin behind the bruise was ashy. It seemed as if everything around them had been silenced. It was just the two of them and Chris was building up some invisible barrier. 

"I don't want you to worry about me." Chris said softly. "Gordie you got too much of your own shit going on you don't need me dragging you down."

"You're not dragging me down!" Gordie protested.

"Yes I am," Chris said sharply. "You think that if I wasn't there you would still be getting shit from teachers? No fuckin' way man. You get shit from teachers like Bonds *because* of me. I fuckin' drag you down man, you'd better believe it."

Gordie's eyes widened. "That's bullshit!" He was angry now. "You're my best friend man and that bastard Bonds would be on my case either way."

"It's not bullshit Gordie!" Chris cried and there was a trace of desperation in his voice. "I've been thinking about it and I know it's true. The Chambers name carries on, everyone knows who the fuck I am and it's a curse. Don't let it be your curse too."

Gordie stared at Chris in silent horror. Chris carried everything, everything inside and now it seemed like he was taking full responsibility for Gordie's shit on top of his own load. Chris had always blamed himself for everything and it scared Gordie now because he saw that Chris always would. 

Chris was standing here talking and he could have been forty or fifty or a hundred years old. He was ageless because he was dead. Gordie would have run away if he hadn't been glued to the spot by fear.

"Don't take responsibility for my shit!" Gordie said and his voice shook with anger. "It happens because of *me*. If I'm being dragged down it's my own doing not yours!"

Chris turned tired eyes on his friend. "You keep taking my shit and making it your responsibility. It's wrong Gordie and if it keeps happening you're going to wake up in ten years and you won't know who the fuck you are. I can handle myself, you've got shit at home don't let me bring you down man."  

"Chris," Gordie said desperately, pleadingly. "No one has to be strong all the time."

Chris smiled faintly as if from a million miles away. "Only the strong survive Gord-o."

"Yes but you don't have to be strong alone man, I'm here. I'm standing *by* you man, you know it." 

Gordie's words fell on deaf ears, Chris had already turned away.

"Go back to school man, don't stay here with my shit," Chris said and his voice was coming from the end of a corridor.

Gordie watched as Chris walked away and he couldn't have gone after him even if he had wanted to. He was pinned down, speechless with horror and he felt a lump in his throat. Chris scared him because Chris really and truly believed he was to blame for everything that happened around him. Gordie felt as if they were climbing a mountain on the same rope, only at the top Chris had suddenly announced that he were putting too much weight on the rope and had cut himself loose. Gordie could feel the snow beneath his hands as he watched as Chris fell into the darkness and Chris was smiling. Chris was fucking smiling because he thought he had set Gordie free. 

"I can't survive without you," Gordie whispered to himself and the realisation was not a surprise because hadn't he known it all along? I need Chris he thought blindly and it hurts because he doesn't need me.

A/N-I'm pretty bad on the computer and I can't figure out how to get chapters uploaded with the nice italics they have when they're on my screen, so from now on I'm using * to symbolise what was once beautiful italics. 


	24. Walking Through The Storm

Hey sorry for the delay, I've had a really busy past week. Hopefully things should cool off soon. Anyway here are the next three chapters. I'm not too sure about them, in some ways I think that maybe in these chapters I kind of lost my focus or whatever you would call it… Hope you guys enjoy them though, and as always thanks to all my reviewers. I *heart* everyone. Take care.

**Walking Through The Storm.**

As Gordie walked back to school it began to rain. He found he was pleased. The rain suited his mood. He paused in the middle of Durham Road and just let the rain wash over him. It soaked through his t-shirt in seconds and it was only later that he realised this made his escape extremely obvious. The rain hit the sidewalk and bounced up. It was violent rain and it pounded down on the metal roof of the bus stops making a musical 'piiing piiing' sound. The clouds were dark and ominous as they rolled in. 

Gordie felt a weird sense of satisfaction at the weather. It was as if the universe had noticed and reacted to his depression. The rain washed away the sticky heat of the fall day and in some ways Gordie felt released. He walked back to school, kicking up the puddles and sticking his tongue out like a little kid to taste the rain. Sometimes it was good to pretend to be about ten again. 

He tried to push the argument with Chris to some far reached place in his mind. He wanted to file it away in that little corner of his brain he usually reserved for Denny and his parents. He didn't want to think about it. He felt he could cope if he could just banish those thoughts to another time. He wasn't successful. Like with those black thoughts about Denny, the argument with Chris swam in his brain and hit him right between the eyes as the clouds overhead launched a lightning bolt down towards the earth. Everything was angry today.

After Gordie had left, Chris had planned on going back into the MacKenzie's house but he no longer felt like a welcome guest. Jillian's mom regarded him with something a little like hate and more like intense distaste. So it was that Chris found himself leaving after apologizing profusely and thanking Jillian for her help. He was walking home when the heavens opened. The rain was no relief; it hit him and made every bruise and cut throb. He held his breath and tried to will it away but the pain in his ribs was fierce and sent long waves of agony over him. He was scared of what he would find at home but there was no other choice. He braced himself against the storm and with one arm curled protectively over his ribcage he began to jog.

As he jogged, Chris went over every word he had said to Gordie. He felt sadness but in some quiet way as if it had been inevitable. He hoped that Gordie would realise that Chris was not turning his back on him. Chris wanted Gordie to be free of his burden. He had seen how things worked at school. How the teacher looked on him with distrust and on Gordie with a sense of confusion. Why was this smart, sensitive kid, friends with one of those no-good Chambers boys? He had seen it on the face of every teacher he'd had in high school. Sometimes Chris found himself wondering the very same thing. Though he already missed Gordie, he hoped that this sacrifice (or whatever you would call it) would eventually help Gordie. 

Now Chris wasn't giving up on college courses. No way. No how. He was going to finish them, he was going to pass and he was going to graduate. No matter what shit happened in his life Chris was going to get the hell out of Castle Rock. The thought of moving somewhere where nobody knew him filled Chris with comfort. 

He also did not mean to give up on Gordie. He would still be there in the background for Gordie always, but by stepping away it meant that Gordie would no longer have the burden of Chris' problems occupying his mind.

Chris had reached his house. He paused just outside the front door and shook the water from his hair and eyes. He shivered despite the heat. His dad was behind that door. He could feel it. Chris took a deep breath, which sent a stab to his ribs. Finally he reached for the door and swung it open. First the rusty screen door, which hung from its hinges like some wounded soldier. Then he opened the front door.

"I'm home," he called.

There was no answer.


	25. Goodbye

**Goodbye.**

Detention that day was the same as always, although strangely Teddy wasn't there. Vern was. Afterwards as Gordie was taking some books out of his locker (he had a huge History essay due Monday) Vern appeared at his side. Vern was still a good four or five inches shorter than Gordie and though he wasn't quite as chubby as he once had been, he was still rounder than most. 

"Hey Gordie," Vern said around a mouthful of Pez.

"Hey Vern," Gordie said absently as he read the blurb on the back of one of history textbooks to see if it would help him with his essay.

"What are you doing tonight?" Vern asked, cramming a couple more candies into his mouth.

Gordie glanced at his friend. "Um nothing," he answered. "How about you?"

It was Friday now. Gordie didn't have any real plans for the weekend; usually he and Chris just hung out and took either the Lachance's car (if Mr Lachance was in a decent mood) or the Chambers's car (if Mr Chambers wasn't around) down to the river. Obviously that wasn't going to happen this time. Gordie felt an ache when it came to Chris, but it wasn't terrible pain. Throughout detention he had dwelled on the argument and now he felt curiously empty.

"Ah nothing much," Vern said. "Probably I'll just meet up with Teddy. You want to come with? We can just shoot the shit like we used to." Vern looked at Gordie with wide, hopeful blue eyes.

"Sure, that sounds okay." Gordie slammed his locker shut. The noise echoed in the empty hallway.

"Boss," Vern said simply. He swallowed his candy. "I'll call for you around seven."

"Great," Gordie said shouldering his backpack. 

They started walking together. 

It was still raining outside and though Gordie didn't care, Vern looked annoyed.

"Aw shit!" Vern said as some water dripped from his hair into his eyes.

Gordie flicked his own hair out of his eyes. "C'mon Verno a little water ain't going to kill you." It could have been four years earlier only there was no Chris to commiserate with. Stop thinking about Chris, Gordie told himself. It's in the past. It's over.

"Man this storm is fucked up," Vern said. "It was fine out this morning and now look at it". Vern gazed up at the rain clouds.

"Hey Vern you ever think about that kid?" Gordie asked out of nowhere.

Vern glanced at Gordie. "Brower? Sure, sometimes" he said carefully. "Not as much as you would think. It's too…it's too, you know…weird" his voice trailed off.

"Yeah," Gordie agreed. "It is weird."

Vern nodded thoughtfully. They had reached the point where they would go their separate ways.

"Sometimes I wonder what he was thinking about, you know, just before he died," Gordie said and he felt a sudden wave of sadness. "Pretty fucked up dying at thirteen hey Vern?"

"Shit Gordie don't think of it that way," Vern whispered. "It's too morbid man."

"Yeah, I'm sorry." Gordie smiled a little. "Guess I was just thinking out loud."

"So I'll see you at seven?" Vern said hesitantly after a minute's silence.

"Sure" Gordie said, then he turned and walked up his street. 

It was hard to talk when there was no one to listen. Chris would understand Gordie thought suddenly. Chris would understand why Ray Brower was such a big thing for me. Chris understood that seeing that body was like seeing fucking Denny. Chris would understand but Chris isn't here. 

Gordie kicked a rock. Goodbye Denny. He cut across his front lawn. Goodbye Ray. He pulled his key out his pocket and went to unlock the front door. Goodbye Chris.


	26. Some Things Never Change

**Some Things Never Change. **

By the time Vern stopped by Gordie's house the rain has petered off to a fine drizzle. The town was cooler and before Gordie left the house he pulled on a blue Hawaiian shirt on over his t-shirt. When he answered the door he was surprised to see not only Vern and Teddy but also a couple of girls.

"Hey man," Teddy said smiling briefly, his girlfriend Sarah was standing next to him and she smiled too. "Hi Gordie," she said sweetly.

"Hey," Gordie said glancing from face to face. Vern was there with his girlfriend too. Gordie felt a little out of place.

"You coming man?" Vern asked, the others had started to drift back across the lawn but Gordie had stayed in the doorway.

"Yeah," Gordie said clearing his throat. He stepped out and turned to lock the door. Teddy, Sarah and Emma were waiting on the sidewalk, Vern stood next to Gordie.

"Hey man sorry, I didn't realise Em and Sarah would be coming," Vern whispered. "You cool with it?"

"Yeah," Gordie said. Then with more conviction, "Yeah, it's fine."

"Come on Lachance! We don't have all day," Teddy called.

"I'm on the way man, shit don't have a fit," Gordie snapped and then he and Vern joined the others.

"Where are we going?" Emma asked running a hand through her dirty blond hair.

"Let's go to the diner first, I want to get something to eat," Teddy said. "Then we can just hang out somewhere, maybe drive out to the river, what do ya say?"

"Sounds good," Gordie said.

"Aw the diner?" Emma complained. "We were just there yesterday!"

"Hey I gotta eat don't I?" Teddy said irritably. "I'm not like your boy Tessio over there. He eats all the time. I haven't had anything since lunchtime."

"Hey!" Vern protested but only cause it was the automatic thing to do; he didn't really have much of a defence.

"Yeah okay but let's not stay there for hours," Emma conceded. "I get sick just thinking about you cramming down three hamburgers in a row like you did last time, that was disgusting Duchamp, sincerely."

Teddy laughed. "Shit that was a good time!"

"The most!" Vern agreed grinning. "That Tupper bitch looked like she was about to explode she was so mad!"

Gordie again felt that feeling like he was out of place. It was clear to him that these four spent a lot of time together. He felt awkward and more than that he felt unneeded. He was the fifth wheel and it wasn't fun. Still this was better than sitting around home watching TV with his dad while his mom sobbed over an old photo album or something.

"Hey Gordie man, are you okay?"

Gordie glanced up, snapped out of his thoughts to see Teddy staring at him with a strange expression on his face. Gordie realised then that they were at the diner.

"Yeah, sorry I just zoned out a bit I guess. It's been a pretty tough week."

Teddy nodded. "The others went inside." He gestured at the door to the diner. He still had that look on his face. "Are you okay Gordo? You haven't said a word since we left your house. You feeling out of place, man? Cause if you are, don't. The girls really want to get to know you, they was bugging me and Vern so much we said they could come tonight."

"Ah I'm okay," Gordie said. "Just a lot on my mind, but it's cool. I probably just need some food or something."

"Great" Teddy said and he looked relieved. "Hey did you find Chris?"

"Yeah. I found him."

"And?"

"His dad got him pretty bad, his face is fucked up." Gordie looked away sadly.

"That bastard still giving him shit, huh? That sucks" Teddy said sympathetically. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine. You know Chris." Gordie said and even as he said it he wondered if it was true. Did Teddy know Chris? It had been a long time since they had said much to each other.

"I remember how he was." Teddy's face clouded over. "He always took responsibility for everything, always took the blame. He's a strong guy."

"The strongest."

The two boys lapsed into thoughtful silence. Eventually Vern came to the door.

"Guys? You coming in or what?"

Teddy and Gordie followed him in silently. Some things would have to be examined later on.


	27. Friday Night

Hey everyone, I'm going away tomorrow for almost two weeks and I'm really not sure whether I can upload any chapters while away. Probably there won't be any more updates for two weeks so be warned. Anyway, here's the next few chapters, enjoy. Oh and thanks to my reviewers!! Also, I must admit that the girls in this story (at least so far) are very one-dimensional and I apologise for that, I guess the reason is cause I'm trying to focus on the boys for the most part. Hmmmm…. I hope that makes sense! 

**Friday Night**

"I am not paranoid! That guy wanted to drag me into his car and drive away!" Sarah cried.

It was later that evening and the five of them were walking along the Main Street in Castle Rock. The guys were teasing Sarah for freaking out because a car had just cruised along the sidewalk next to them.

"Yeah I'm sure that's what he wanted," Teddy scoffed. "But you know to me it didn't look like he was checking *you* out."

"Hey! Why wouldn't he be checking me out?" Sarah cried in a mock hurt voice.

"Seemed to me," Teddy began importantly. "That you weren't exactly what he was interested in."

"What do you mean?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah man, what do you mean?" Vern looked confused.

"That guy was completely, totally, fully checking out…" Teddy paused. "Gordie Lachance!"

"Aw fuck you!" Gordie said and shoved Teddy off the sidewalk.

Teddy was laughing now. "That guy wanted to drag Gordie into his car! E e ee eee ee! He though Gordie was beautiful. That's right!"

"Yeah actually you're right he did seem to be looking at you," Emma teased, grinning slightly. "I think it was your shirt that caught his eyes."

"I think it was his hair," Sarah offered.

"Maybe it was his smile," Vern said finally getting the joke.

"Naw, naw you're way off," Teddy said. "That guy wanted Gordie's ass oh yeah!" He was off again, laughing.

"Fuck off would ya Teddy?" Gordie said but he was smiling. "You guys are messed up."

"We can't help it that you're sooo sexy Gordie!" Sarah teased.

"It's completely your own fault!" Emma declared. She was walking behind Gordie with Vern and she jabbed him in the back.

Gordie found himself laughing. It felt good. "Yeah well…Duchamp, Tessio you better watch your girls man cause I'm pretty hard to resist."

"Or maybe it should be me and Emma who watch out cause I swear Gordie that Teddy Duchamp was staring at you all through dinner." Sarah grinned.

"Hey man I'm fucking irresistible," Gordie said. "What with my intellect, sensitivity, wit, charm, looks..."

He would have gone on but Vern chose this time to give him a dead leg.

"Shit Vern!" Gordie cried, reaching down to massage the back of his knee.

Vern laughed. "Tessio: one, Lachance: zero!"

Gordie glanced up and grinned, a real smile. "Hey man, the night is young."

Across town Chris was sitting on his living room couch trying to simultaneously write a history essay and help his sister with some homework. Mrs Chambers was sitting at the other end of the sofa flipping through one of those tabloid papers. Chris's brother was sprawled across the floor reading a mystery comic. Mr Chambers was out, probably at the local bar 'Seasons' with his drinking buddy Mr Merrill. To an outsider the situation may have looked like normal, peaceful family life but Chris could feel the tension in the room. Mr Chambers had been on a mean streak for a while now and everyone was scared of what he might be like when he got home tonight. Chris could feel the suffocating fear in the room.

"Ma what happened with that Brower kid?" 

Chris looked up in surprise. His brother was holding up his magazine and pointing to a photograph next to a block of text. Ray Brower's face stared out. It was that picture the authorities had sent out when he had first gone missing. Ray smiled out from the page and Chris felt like all the air had gone from his body. The photograph had been taken about six months before Ray had died and Chris found it strange how hopeful and well normal Ray looked in the picture. I saw your body Chris thought and immediately it swam in front of his eyes, quickly followed by a feeling of nausea.

"Well they found him just a few days after he went missing," Mrs Chambers said.

"Yes I know that," Chris's brother said impatiently. "I mean how'd it happen? How did he die?"

"The train hit him," Chris said softly.

Mrs Chambers looked at Chris sharply "Yes I think it was something like that, they never really said much after they found him."

Chris was silent and he wasn't sitting on a sofa, he was back on the train tracks in 1959 with Gordie, Teddy and Vern. He was thirteen years old again and off to see a dead body. He felt a wave of nostalgia for that summer, for those days with the guys before everything had gotten so complicated. 

That was the summer he had bared his soul to Gordie. Chris felt all uncomfortable just thinking about how vulnerable he had made himself back then. Gordie helped you a part of his mind whispered. Chris shushed it, Gordie may have *tried* to help but really all that had happened was that Chris had given Gordie a whole lot of burden to carry. Or had he? Chris was confused. Things were right like they were now weren't they? 

He looked back down at his history essay but instead of the two lines he'd written so far all he saw was a dead kid named Ray Brower and a Chris Chambers who was far more innocent.


	28. Something To Think About

**Something To Think About**

It was sometime later. Gordie and the others were sat on the fence just outside Vern's house. It was almost pitch black and eerily silent. Teddy had just handed out cigarettes and right now the only light close to them was the light from five cigarettes. Gordie felt happy and that was strange. He looked at the faces around him and smiled broadly. He no longer felt like a fifth wheel. It was fun; in fact if he didn't have a lingering feeling of unease left over from his fight with Chris then this night would be just about perfect.

"Holy crap! It's almost midnight!" Sarah cried suddenly. She had used the small amount of light from her cigarette to light up her watch. "I gotta get home, my dad will be so mad." She hopped up from the fence.

"I should go too," Emma said regretfully.

"Here I'll walk you home," Teddy said gruffly as he stood up too.

Sarah smiled and reached out for Teddy's hand, which he gave her instantly although even in the dim light, Gordie could see he was blushing. They were a cute couple, Sarah was a good influence on Teddy Gordie noted. Sarah kept him calm, kept him sane. It was good to see.

"You want me to come too?" Vern asked.

Emma shook her head. "No it's okay. My house is only five minutes away. It's fine, really. I'll just tag along with Sarah and Teddy for a few minutes. You stay here with Gordie."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." 

Emma leaned forward and gave Vern a quick kiss then she turned to Gordie.

"It was nice to talk to you again," she said then leaned forwards and hugged him.

"Nice to talk to you too," Gordie said returning the hug. "You too," he said to Sarah.

Sarah and Teddy had stepped away a few feet but now Sarah came back over and gave Gordie a quick hug. She kissed him on the cheek too, then turned and did the same to Vern.

"Bye Vern, bye Gordie," Sarah said. She waved then went back over and took up Teddy's hand again. 

"Bye Verno," Emma said and affectionately ruffled his hair. "Bye Gordie."

"Bye guys, be back in fifteen," Teddy promised.

Gordie watched as the three of them walked off. Next to him Vern was sat thoughtfully smoking his cigarette. Gordie sat down again and smoked too. They sat in silence for about ten minutes. Then suddenly Vern stubbed out his cigarette and turned to Gordie with an unusually serious expression on his face.

"Gordie man, why are you here?"

"What do you mean?" Gordie asked.

"I mean why are you with us guys? We haven't seen you in forever and now…this. I'm not complaining, jus' that it's weird, you know?"

Gordie finished his cigarette. "I don't know, it just worked out this way."

"Yeah, but…you gots to be careful Gordie. You don't want to end up like us, shit you're smart Gordie; you got some real brains. If I had what you had I would be so far from here." 

Gordie stared at his friend. "You saying I should leave?"

"No, not exactly. Just you got to be careful, that's all. Getting into trouble with us and shit like that, it's not right man" Vern spoke earnestly. It was clear he'd been thinking about this for some time now.

"Yeah well I can make my own decisions," Gordie said lightly.

"Can you?" Vern asked.

"Shit yeah, come on Verno."

"Well make one then. You got to choose man, you can go with your college courses or with us, there's no middle ground on this one."

Gordie looked away. It was almost scary. He had never ever heard Vern talk like this. Suddenly it became clear how much Vern had grown up since the days when they'd all been best friends. Vern was serious now, and so earnest. He believed what he was saying. He had given it some thought and now he was telling Gordie what he knew. *Why is everyone always trying to make my decisions for me?*  Gordie thought irritably. He was about to say something more but at that minute Teddy appeared and Vern shut up.

"Hey girls!" Teddy called. "Look what I got." He held up a six-pack of beer. 

"Aw good job Teddy," Vern said and hopped up off the fence.

Gordie smiled slightly. "Where'd you get them?"

"The convenience store. Showed 'em my ID." Teddy smirked and threw something at Gordie.

It was an ID card and though it said 'Teddy Duchamp' the birth date had been tampered with and the photo was of someone else completely.

"Pretty smooth Teddy," Gordie said grinning. "But how on earth do you convince people that you're this guy. Shit you don't a single hair on your face and this guy looks like a fucking mountain man."

"Eat me raw Lachance. Anyway it worked didn't it?" Teddy said. He handed out beers and the three of them sat back down on the fence.

Gordie opened his beer slowly. He didn't drink that much. He didn't have a problem with it or anything, just that usually he was hanging out with Chris and since Chris didn't drink then he never did either. Chris was seventeen years old and he had never even tasted alcohol. Gordie knew that just the thought of alcohol sickened and scared Chris. Chris was terrified of turning out exactly like his father. In fact Chris's beliefs were so far implanted in Gordie's head that he too felt a little apprehensive even though there was no history of alcoholism in his own family.

"You okay Gordo?" Teddy asked.

"Yeah, I'm good," Gordie said and took a sip of beer. It was okay, no harm right? Right?


	29. Open Your Eyes

**Open Your Eyes**

"Shit Gordie you're so wasted," Teddy said and he laughed.

It was an hour or so later and Vern had just gone home. Teddy and Gordie had finished the first six-pack and were now back in the centre of Castle Rock finishing off a second pack. Gordie wasn't exactly handling it that well, he was all over the place and completely hyper. At this minute he was stumbling along in the centre of the road. Five minutes ago he had decided it would be a good idea to climb a tree (??) and now they were on the way to find 'a good one'.

"Man I'm not," Gordie said and he actually giggled. "I'm good man, sincerely."

Teddy took a last swallow of beer and crumpled the can in his hand. "Sure Gordo, it's perfectly normal to hit on forty year old women."

"They weren't forty," Gordie called over but he sounded a little nervous. "Were they?"

"Shit Gordie they were pretty old and I think I recognised one of them."

"Which one?"

"The one who told you to go sleep it off," Teddy grinned. "The one with the fake hairpiece."

"I don't remember." Gordie laughed. "I don't fucking remember". He tripped and went sprawling on the concrete. "Aw shit Teddy," he complained.

Teddy walked over to his friend and helped drag him to his feet. "You don't usually drink much, do you?" he asked only half joking.

Gordie grinned. "Guess not, huh?" Suddenly Gordie's eyes lit up. "Look at that tree Teddy, that's a good son of a bitch." He headed over to it and Teddy followed him reluctantly.

"Dare you to climb it," Gordie said.

"Dares go first."

"Fine," Gordie said. He set his can on the ground and wiped his hands on his jeans. Then he stepped forwards and gripped the trunk, stepped on a low branch and began pulling himself up. Teddy watched nervously and through his alcohol soaked brain he heard an alarm go off. This was not a good idea.

"Hey Gordie man I'm bored. Let's do something else."

"I'm almost to the top," Gordie complained. "Wait five seconds."

Teddy watched anxiously. "Come on man this is stupid." He watched with dread as Gordie climbed to the top and then began his descent down. Teddy sent up a silent prayer. It was okay though, Gordie reached the ground relatively unscathed. He slipped from the tree when he was only about three feet off the ground but he landed okay and any damage could only be a bruise. Teddy breathed a sigh of relief.

"We should probably go home now, huh?" Teddy asked.

"Yeah I suppose so," Gordie said glumly. Then, "Hey Teddy, Vern was talking to me earlier…" His voice was suddenly serious.

Teddy stopped and removed his glasses to rub his eyes. "Yeah? What did he say?"

"He was talking about how I shouldn't be hanging around with you guys," Gordie said softly.

"That's true," Teddy said in a matter of fact way. "It's weird how it suddenly happened. I mean I like it but it's strange you gotta admit that."

"I know but just shit Chris is being so…" Gordie's voice trailed off.

"Don't just use us to get back at him though Gordie, that ain't fair."

"It's not that. I just get sick of him thinking he always knows what's best for everyone."

"Chris thinks he has to take responsibility for everyone."

"Yeah fuck Chris."

"That's not what I meant," Teddy said. "I mean that Chris worries about the whole world."

"He doesn't have to worry about me though! I'm fine and I want to help him too but he'll never let anyone help him!"

"I know what Chris thinks of me," Teddy said. "Maybe he's right and maybe he's wrong. I don't see much of him now cause I know when I look at him that he thinks I'm a complete fucking loser."

"That's not true."

"It is. But it's okay. The point is Gordie that Chris has never believed in me but he believes in you man. He wants you to succeed, you know it."

Gordie had stopped now; they were at the bottom of his street.

"I'm no good man. I don't know why Chris would think I can do shit." Gordie said.

"Don't think like that! He believes in you and he's trying to help you."

 "What exactly are you saying?" Gordie asked and he swayed slightly.

"I don't know," Teddy said and ran a hand through his hair. "I just don't know right now. I can't think."

Gordie nodded then a look of nausea crossed his face "Aw shit I'm gonna barf!" He bent over with one arm wrapped around his middle and threw up in the road.

Teddy looked away. It was wrong somehow to see Gordie in this situation. None of it fit. At that moment, despite his haze, Teddy decided that tomorrow he would pay a visit to the Chambers' house.


	30. Consequences

**Wow, it's been a really long time since I last updated. Sorry about the delay, the last month has been pretty crazy really and I've been absolutely swamped with one thing or another. Anyway thanks for waiting and hopefully people will still be interested in reading this story… Here are the next three chapters, hope you enjoy them. **

**Consequences.**

Gordie woke up on Saturday with a splitting headache. The sunlight that streamed underneath and between the blinds felt like individual knives stabbing him in the head. He groaned and put his head under his pillow.

"I'm never drinking again," he vowed.

"Gordon?" It was his mother's voice. "Gordon? Are you up yet Gordon?"

Gordie peeked out from under the pillow. He judged his mom to be on the landing just outside his room, any minute now she would open the door and come in. Gordie didn't want her to see him like this. He knew he looked like shit. He had stumbled in around three in the morning and had gone to sleep in his clothes. He was still wearing one of his sneakers. Also he noticed when he looked down at himself that he was sporting small vomit stains on his t-shirt. Now that was just beautiful. In fact it was all so beautiful it made him want to throw up again. Gordie was ashamed for his mother to see him like this and though it hurt all over he forced himself to get up.

"I'm up mom!" he called.

He heard her hand on the doorknob.  
"No, um don't come in!" He threw his weight at the door.

"What's going on Gordon?"

"Nothing," Gordie called and his voice was unusually high. He rubbed his eyes and tried to focus.

"I got your breakfast, it's downstairs on the table," Mrs Lachance said hesitantly. "You're sure you're okay?"

"Fine! I'm fine," Gordie said desperately, willing her to just leave. 

Finally she did and breathing a little easier Gordie stepped away from the door and stripped off his clothes. He threw the nasty alcohol splattered clothing in a pile by his bed then he opened the door and hurried along to the bathroom. A long, hot shower would help. He hoped it would anyway.

Across town Teddy had just reached the Chambers's house. He had been here a thousand times before, albeit not in the last two years or so. Still he could totally do this. He took a step up the walk, and then stopped. Could he do this? He didn't know what to say to Chris and how should he bring up the subject of Gordie? He was deliberating about what to do when suddenly the Chambers's front door swung open. It was one of Chris's younger sisters.

"Who are you?" she called.

Teddy didn't answer. He pulled nervously at the neck of his t-shirt.

"Who are you?" the girl repeated. She was about nine and was standing drinking from an orange juice carton. Teddy noticed idly that she chewed the straw just like Vern did.

"Who's there Ashley?" someone inside the house asked.

Crap. Teddy recognised that voice. He had come with the intention of talking to Chris but now hearing Chris speak he felt like he wanted to be a million miles away.

Chris came to the front door. He was dressed only in a pair of blue jeans. There was a bandage wrapped around his ribs. His hair was sticking up and almost the whole left side of his face was a purple bruise. Teddy winced at the sight of him. Chris's jaw dropped when he spotted Teddy.

"Son of a…" Chris whispered. He stepped out on to the front step beside his sister.

"Chris?" Ashley asked in surprise.

"Go inside Ash," Chris said and he leaned down so he was at eyelevel with his sister. "It's okay, I got this." He gave her a brief hug then she stepped back inside the door and he walked up the walk towards Teddy.

Chris was barefoot and Teddy saw that he was stepping on broken glass. Chris didn't seem to care, he just kept moving.

"What are you doing here Duchamp?" Chris asked in a low voice.

Teddy smiled weakly. "Just to talk."

"What the fuck would you want to talk to me about?" Chris asked. His gaze was fixed somewhere past Teddy which gave him a strangely robotic tone.

"I don't know…just… shit you know," Teddy said and he felt anger bubble up inside him.

Chris raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms across his chest. He looked so cold and guarded that Teddy felt a chill go through him. This was not the Chris he had remembered.

"We need to talk," Teddy said after a moment's silence.

Chris shook his head. "I have nothing to say."

"Then I'll do the talking," Teddy said and he narrowed his eyes. "Not here though. Let's take a walk."

Chris frowned. "Why?"

Teddy rolled his eyes. "Let's stop this fuckin' charade. Either come and hear me out or get the fuck out of here."

Chris sighed. "This is fucked up." He glanced wistfully back towards the house. "Okay Duchamp you got fifteen minutes. Let me go grab some shoes."

"Good," Teddy said simply. "I'll be waiting here."


	31. Interlude of Memories

**Interlude of Memories.**

Gordie ate breakfast slowly, fighting a losing battle against the nausea that threatened to engulf him. What didn't help was that his mom was walking around the kitchen opening and closing cupboards and humming. Bang. She slammed a cupboard shut and walked past Gordie still humming. It was all too much, Gordie gagged on his orange juice. Get a grip man he whispered.

"You say something Gordon?" his mom asked curiously. At least she had stopped humming.

"No mom," he said trying to keep a pleasant tone in his voice.

"What time did you get in last night honey?" Mrs Lachance asked. 

"Um I don't know… midnight maybe."

"That's a little late isn't it?" 

"I don't know. Is it?" Gordie ventured and massaged his temples.

"When Denny was your age he came in at eleven every night."

That's a goddamn lie! Gordie's brain screamed and for a second he forgot his nausea. For some reason Gordie's parents had this view that Denny was some kind of angel. Now don't get me wrong, Denny was a nice guy, Gordie had loved his brother, still did, but Denny wasn't a saint! Gordie knew for a fact that when Denny was about sixteen he had stayed out way past curfew. He knew this because Denny liked to sneak back in to the house through Gordie's window. Of course Gordie couldn't say any of this. He had promised Denny he'd keep his secret. This secret was going with Gordie to the grave. After all a promise is a promise.

   It didn't matter anyway. As soon as Mrs Lachance had mentioned Denny's name her face had gone that usual sickly grey and she had turned her back to Gordie once more. She was facing the window and though Gordie couldn't see her face he could tell by the way her shoulders were shaking that she was crying. He took the opportunity to escape.

"Bye Ma, thanks for the breakfast." Gordie hopped off his stool and left the room. He was headed upstairs when he heard his dad start singing in the shower. Now if there was one thing that made him feel sick, it was his dad's voice. Gordie grimaced and turned back. He paused for a second by the front door then took his decision and stepped outside.

Teddy and Chris were walking along the roads in the general direction of Main Street. Teddy was walking in the centre of the road, idly kicking stones. Chris walked on the edge of the sidewalk. He was hunched over with his hands in his pockets. He didn't want anyone to recognise him so he had his shirt collar up so that it touched his ears and he was wearing a baseball cap low over his eyes.

"So?"

"So what?" Teddy asked.

"Why the fuck are we out here?" Chris asked.

"I gots to talk to you Chambers, that's all."

"Well talk then."

Teddy stopped in the middle of the road and glanced around. "Hell no! This isn't the kind of thing I want other people to hear."

"Well why didn't you just tell me at my house then?"

Teddy ignored him. "Let's cut down Croydon Manor and go talk by the tracks."

"Train tracks?"

"What other tracks are there Chambers?" Teddy's voice was mocking.

"Screw you" Chris said but he crossed the road and started off down Croydon so fast that Teddy had to run to keep up.


	32. Running On Empty

**Running On Empty**

Gordie had been walking for a few minutes when he heard someone call his name.

"Gordie! Yoo-hoo! Gordie!"

Gordie turned around and squinted in the direction of the voice. It was a girl and she was running towards him from the house opposite.

"Hey Lachey."

"It's Lachance," Gordie said irritably. Goddamn it was that girl from detention. Would she ever get his name right?

"Whatever," Laura said. She was panting slightly and for the first time Gordie noticed she was carrying a baseball glove.

"What do you want?" Gordie asked not bothering to be polite.

Laura narrowed her eyes slightly. "We're about to start a baseball game and your loser friend Teddy said he'd play but he never turned up and now my team is a man down." She scowled. "So what do you say? You going to take his place?"

"I don't think so." Gordie turned to leave.

"Don't be so fucking lame. Don't tell me you don't know how to play," Laura taunted.

"I'm not in the mood Lisa," Gordie said.

Laura didn't even notice his intentional mistake instead she was peering at him kind of funny. "You look like shit Lachey, what happened last night?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah. Right. Anyway you going to play or not?"

"Not." Gordie started to leave but Laura grabbed his arm.

"Come on, please. I wouldn't even ask if it wasn't a complete emergency."

Gordie couldn't imagine anything worse than spending a couple of hours playing baseball but Laura was already dragging him in the direction of her house. He struggled but it was futile, she outweighed him by at least twenty pounds and she had that bullish kind of brute strength. Not only was she taking him against his will she was making him feel inadequate too. He hated this girl.

"Shit Teddy watch where you're going!"

Teddy had been walking with his eyes on the ground and hadn't noticed that in front of him Chris had stopped and Teddy had barrelled straight into him. Now the two of them were lying on the grass. Chris untangled himself and stood up.

"We're at the tracks now, so just tell me what you have to say" Chris said.

Teddy climbed to his feet. "Look man it's about Gordie but if you're going to be such an asshole then let's just forget this."

Chris rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "What about Gordie?"

"He's fucked up man."

There was a flicker of concern in Chris's eyes but it vanished and his cool aloof attitude seeped back into the blue. "What do you mean?"

"Last night he was all kinds of crazy" Teddy said and spat on the ground.

Chris looked at the grass and whispered something that Teddy couldn't quite hear.

"Seriously drunk man, completely trashed, hammered, wasted. Out of his mind. He was drunk man." Teddy spoke fast, the words tumbling out on top of each other.

"Drunk?" and now Chris couldn't hide the concern.

"Yeah man. Shit I've never seen him like that he was all over the place, man. He climbed a fucking tree out on Beecher Street, a fucking tree! I tell you man I would never have thought it."

"You guys went out, huh?"

"Yes" Teddy said somewhat impatiently. "Me Gordo and Vern and a couple of girls."

"Which girls?"

"You don't know them. My girlfriend and Vern's."

"Shit Vern got a girlfriend" Chris said and laughed fondly.

"Yeah man, Vern got you beat for once."

Chris's smile tightened. "You don't know shit. Anyway what has Gordie got to do with me?"

"Cause it was what you said to him that made him all crazy and shit."

"I didn't say anything."

"He says you told him to leave you alone."

"That is not what happened." Chris's eyes were bleak. "I didn't tell him that. I told him that he had to stop worrying about me. I can take care of myself you know."

Teddy shrugged. "I only know what I heard and from what I heard it seems you told him to fuck off."

Chris stepped away from Teddy. "Shut up Duchamp."

Teddy was angry now. "Fuck you Chris. Fuck your holier than thou attitude. It sucks man. It fucking sucks!"

Chris glared at Teddy. "I was trying to help him Teddy."

"Help him what? For god sake's Chris why do you always assume you know best, huh? Shit when I was fucking twelve you already had me written off the page. I'm just another loser, better stay out of your way. Isn't that it man?"

"That's not it," Chris said softly. "That's not it at all."

"Well what is it then? Why can't you even look at me man? What makes you think you can just write me off and act like I don't even exist?"

Chris looked away, down the tracks. Teddy was suspended, almost ready to jump in and fight. Ready to spring, waiting for the comeback. It didn't come. Chris turned to him and his eyes were tired and his face had all collapsed in on itself. Teddy had never seen him like this before. This was the face Chris had kept hidden from everyone except Gordie.

"I was trying to help. Gordie would have written himself off the page and if he keeps sticking with all my shit then it's going to happen all over again."

"I see," Teddy said but he didn't. "What about me man? Didn't I deserve some help? No way man, you guys just upped and left. I'm in the shop courses with Vern and hey it's okay man cause that's how it's meant to be. Isn't that right?"

"Teddy, you can do anything you want to," Chris said and his eyes showed sadness and understanding. "I'm sorry man, it wasn't supposed to be like that. I guess I've just fucked up everything left, right and centre."

"No," Teddy said and he tried to smile. He found he couldn't. Goddamn it he was getting emotional. What was going on? "You haven't. I guess it just hurts cause I know you're right man. I do belong in the shop courses; I'm not worth shit in anything else right now. It's okay I guess, I just…. why can't you look at me Chris?"

Chris smiled sadly. "I'm scared I guess."

"Why?" Teddy asked.

"Cause I don't belong in the college course either," Chris said and he sat down on the train tracks. Teddy sat next to him and for a while they were silent. Both were sat thinking. But right now there were no answers, no easy answer anyway. 


	33. Life

**Wow it's been a long time coming, but here are the next few chapters. I'm going away tomorrow for Winter break so the next update won't be for another two weeks at least. Anyway hope you enjoy reading the latest chapters and I hope everyone has a great holiday season!! *heart heart heart***

**Life.**

"Come on Lachance let's kick some ass!" Laura screamed.

Gordie chose a bat from the fence and turned to look back at his team-mates. He actually felt a little better, something about the fresh air and exercise I guess. 

"I'm on it" he called back and jogged to the plate.

Their team was down two runs in the fifth inning and they had two outs. They had decided to play six innings and then go for lunch. It was hot now and the sun beat down on their backs. Gordie was pretty good at baseball but he hadn't played much recently. He always played as pitcher when he played with Chris and the guys but some fat guy called Tommy had claimed that position so Gordie had been playing way out in left field. This was his third time up to bat. The first time he had struck out. It had been so embarrassing, the rest of his team had looked as if they wanted to murder him. The second time he had made it to second base.

"Hey darlin, you're blocking the plate" the pitcher mocked.

Gordie rolled his eyes. The pitcher on the other team was a big guy called Matthew Royston. He was in the grade above Gordie at school and he was the stupidest fucking loser ever in Castle Rock. Gordie had hated him with a passion since the time in seventh grade when he had stolen some girl's wallet and blamed it on Chris. 

Gordie twirled the bat in his hands and concentrated on seeing the ball. The first was a ball. The second pitch a strike. The third pitch was good, Gordie swung the bat as hard as he could and connected with the ball. It was a pop fly. As he ran to first base he shielded his eyes with his hands and watched the descent of the ball. It looked like the centre fielder was going to catch it but he had miscalculated the distance and the ball sailed over his head. Gordie ran as fast as he could and slid into third base as the ball sailed back into the infield.

"Good job Gordie!" someone called from the sidelines.

Gordie stood up and brushed the sand off his pants before glancing over to see who it was. It turned out to be Vern. He was leaning on the railings drinking from a bottle of soda. Gordie waved then turned his attention back to the game.

Chris and Teddy were at the Blue Point Diner eating cheeseburgers. They were sat opposite each other but barely exchanged glances. Both concentrated on their food. Finally Teddy spoke.

"I think we should go talk to Gordie."

"Together?" Chris asked, swallowing the last of his burger.

"Sure." Teddy took off his glasses and awkwardly polished them with a napkin to avoid looking at Chris.

"Okay," Chris said with some reluctance. "When and how?"

"Some time today. Maybe I could arrange to meet up with him tonight."

"What will we say?" Chris asked and took a swig of water.

Teddy shrugged. "I don't know. I guess we tell him we're kind of worried about him."

Chris glanced out the window. "He'll hate that."

"So?" Teddy asked. "Sincerely Chris I love Gordie but last night was a fucking trip. It was wrong man. It's wrong for him to be puking in the gutter like that."

Chris nodded. "You're right, but aw shit this is going to be tough."

"Life ain't easy," Teddy said and his eyes suddenly looked haunted. He shoved his glasses back on and fiddled nervously with the cord of his hearing aid.

"Don't I know it," Chris said softly. "Okay Teddy you're on. We'll do it tonight."

"Do what exactly?" Teddy asked with a sly smile and the look in his eyes lifted.

Chris threw a straw wrapper at his friend. "Talk to Gordie. Why? You got another idea?"

Teddy laughed. "Eee ee ee e eee maybe ee ee e."

"Fuck you man" Chris said, but in a friendly way. He stood up and pulled a couple of dollars out of his jeans pocket and threw them on the table. "Come around later."

"Yeah" Teddy agreed and leaned back in the booth. Chris left Teddy alone in the diner. Chris had only agreed to come in cause it was empty. He didn't really want everyone to see his face all messed up like it was. People talk and that talk can really hurt. Teddy shut his eyes. He was tired, mentally and physically. He hadn't been back to his house in a few days now and though he'd never admit it, he was scared. His mom's boyfriend was a crazy, arrogant bastard and his mom was completely under his control. Teddy hated it and what he hated more was how she was preventing him from seeing his dad. His dad wasn't perfect, no way. But he was his dad you know? His dad. Teddy put his head on the table and fell asleep. It was comfier than the tree house at least.

"There's a party tonight," Vern told Gordie. The game had just finished and Gordie had wandered over to the fence to talk to his friend.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah you should go man," Vern said enthusiastically. "I'll get Teddy to go as well and we can all go together. It's at Emma's friend's house, should be good. What do ya say?"

"Maybe," Gordie said and ran a hand through his hair. He was kind of sweaty and his face was flushed.

"Aw come on man, it'll be boss I swear," Vern promised.

"Okay I guess," Gordie said reluctantly.

"Great!" Vern said beaming. "You finished here? Let's head around to Teddy's and see if he wants to come too."

"Yeah I'm finished," Gordie, said then, "um I don't think Teddy will be home right now."

"Why not?" Vern asked.

Gordie glanced at the floor. So Teddy hadn't told Vern about sleeping in the tree house. It wasn't his place to say anything.

"I uh saw him earlier, maybe he's gone to the tree house or something."

"Oh, well okay I can give him a call later," Vern said. "I'll meet you about eight then, maybe I can get the car off my mom."

"You drive Verno?"

"Sure, why? Is that a problem Lachance?"

_"No, no problem."_


	34. Old friends, new friends

**Old friends, new friends.**

Chris spent most of the afternoon just hanging out at his house trying to keep busy by writing his history essay and filling out college apps. However, try as he might he couldn't get his mind off everything Teddy had said. Chris felt a sinking feeling in his gut, almost like guilt, but worse. Today was the first real conversation he'd had with Teddy in almost three years. Back when they were about twelve they had been real tight but then gradually they had drifted apart. Chris had always assumed it was the natural thing to happen; sometimes you just had to let go of your past and of other people. Sometimes the only way to succeed was to step off the train. You know, back away. At least that's what he had always thought and he had been happy with his decision. But now seeing how bitter Teddy had been Chris felt different. He wondered why it had never occurred to him how Teddy and Vern would view his leaving the group. Now he saw that Teddy at least had felt abandoned. Chris hated that. It seemed as if this week everything he had ever said or done was coming back to take one final shot at him. 

Gordie. Chris felt another stab in his gut. What was he going to do about Gordie? Did Gordie feel abandoned like Teddy had? Chris stared at the blank page in his lap. There was no way on earth he was going to make the same mistake again, even if it were for different reasons. Sure, some people do drown. But there was no reason you couldn't help them and still save yourself. Maybe he could help Teddy and maybe he couldn't, maybe it was too late. But with Gordie he had to act. 

   Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Chris stood up and glanced through the fraying curtain to see two figures standing on the front step. One was Eyeball the other was standing in the shadows and Chris couldn't see their face. Chris hobbled over to the front door and pulled it open.

"Christopher," Eyeball said from the other side of the screen door.

"Hey Richie," Chris said a little nervously.

"Hey Chris." It was a warm voice. It was Eyeball's old girlfriend, Jillian Mackenzie.

Chris opened the screen door slowly. "Hey, what do you guys want?"

"A favour," Eyeball said simply.

"We were going to hang out and talk about stuff and we were wondering if you would mind Aimee tonight," Jillian said and Chris saw that she looked nervous.

"Baby-sit?" Chris was shocked. Guys didn't baby-sit outside their own family, did they?

"Yeah," Eyeball said rolling his eyes. "Why, you got a problem, Christopher?"

"We'd really appreciate it," Jillian added.

"Ah it's just I had plans tonight," Chris said weakly. He saw Jillian's face sink, Eyeball on the other hand looked a little relieved. 

"Guess we'll have to talk another night Jillian." Eyeball positively grinned.

"No, it's okay, I guess I can." Chris tried to smile. Eyeball looked like he wanted to kill him, Jillian was the one grinning now.

"Great," Jillian said. "Could you please come round my house at about seven tonight then?"

"Sure, I guess." Chris tried to ignore the poisonous look on his brother's face.

"We won't be long," Jillian promised.

"Yes, we definitely won't be long," Eyeball added.

"Thanks Chris, we'll see you later then." Jillian smiled then turned and began to walk away.

"Bye Christopher," Eyeball hissed and punched his brother on the arm before walking away.

Chris stood and watched them for a few moments before heading back into the house. He would have to talk to Gordie later than planned. Teddy was going to be mad.

Gordie was at the Tessio's house hanging out with Vern and eating potato chips. 

"This is boring, let's do something else."

Gordie glanced at Vern. "Like what?"

"I don't know… play cards or something."

"Cards?" 

"Yeah. You remember cards Lachance?"

Gordie rolled his eyes. "Yes I remember, Tessio."

Vern hopped up from his chair and went to rummage through one of the cupboards. He came back with a pack of playing cards.

"Got them free from that restaurant down on third." Vern explained.

Gordie ate a chip before responding. "What'll we play?"

"Three penny skat, what else?" Vern smiled.

"Okay, but you gotta bet bigger than a penny Vern-o."

Vern smiled and dealt the cards. "How 'bout a quarter bet?"

Gordie shrugged. "That's fine." He picked up his cards. Crap, he had a very bad hand. The highest card he had was the four of clubs.

Vern was beaming; he clearly had good cards. Vern had never mastered the poker face. Gordie wasn't a great liar but he was better than Vern.

They played for a few minutes in silence. Gordie was collecting spades. He had the queen and the ace of spades and a useless five of hearts when Vern suddenly tapped the table.

"I knock."

"Shit," Gordie whispered and reached for his last card. He prayed it was something high.

"I call thirty," Vern said proudly and laid out his cards on the table.

Gordie turned over his last card and suddenly he was smiling. "Read them and weep Tessio!" He laid his cards out, the ace, queen and jack of spades.

"Aw go fuck yourself Lachance!" Vern grumbled and scooped up his cards before reluctantly depositing two quarters in the centre of the table.

Gordie was smiling as he shuffled the cards. Somehow it seemed a good sign that he had just won the first game, like it represented something bigger, you know? His head felt almost clear once more and the room seemed brighter. 

"Hey Gordie man, you goin' to deal anytime soon?" Vern asked, jolting Gordie's from his thoughts.

"Yeah… soon."

Vern watched Gordie for a second before speaking again. "Hey man you want to teach me that box shuffle sometime?"

Gordie's hands froze on the cards, now he remembered why he missed Chris. Denny had taught Gordie the box shuffle and although not much, it was something of Denny, which Gordie therefore felt very protective towards. Chris would know never to ask Gordie to teach him how to shuffle Denny's way. Chris knew that to ask Gordie to teach him that was like asking for a part of Denny and there really wasn't that much left to go around. 

"Gordie?" Vern asked hesitantly.

Gordie finished shuffling the cards and silently dealt them out. Vern was his friend but Vern was no Chris. No one would ever replace Denny and no one would ever replace Chris. Gordie glanced down at the table and he felt his eyes well up just a little. Denny had been taken from him but Chris had voluntarily left. There was no denying that. The room was suddenly darker, as if the sun had hidden her face behind the clouds. Gordie swiped his left hand across his eyes.

"You okay man?" Vern asked in alarm.

"Yeah… I just got something in my eye." Gordie picked up his cards. "No sweat man."

"You sure?"

Gordie paused for a while before speaking. "Yes."


	35. Jokes and payback

**Jokes and payback.**

"Chris?!"

Chris glanced up and saw Teddy standing on the sidewalk in front of him. Chris was on the way to Jillian's house to baby-sit. He had been worried he would miss Teddy seeing as they were supposed to meet up at his house, so had given Ashley a message to give him. 

"Hey man," Chris said smiling a little awkwardly.

Teddy frowned slightly. "Where you going Chambers? I thought we were going to meet at your house."

"Change of plan," Chris said. "I have to um… baby-sit." He blushed slightly.

"Baby-sit??" Teddy asked in disbelief. 

"Yeah, just for a while."

"Whose kid?"

"Um it's Eyeball's daughter."

"Eyeball has a daughter? Holy crap!"

"Yeah," Chris said and started walking.

Teddy fell into step beside him.

"Smoke?" Teddy asked, pulling his pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

Chris accepted one gladly and for a few minutes the two just walked along smoking.

"So no shit, you're actually baby-sitting?" Teddy was still incredulous.

"No shit," Chris replied. "It's just for a little while, we can go find Gordie after."

"Hey I ran into Vern about an hour ago, he said he and Gordie are going to a party tonight. I'm supposed to go too."

"Okay, I guess we can check it out."

"So how long will you be baby-sitting?"

"Probably till about nine, I guess…"

They had reached the Mackenzie's house. Chris paused before heading up the path.

"You coming in or what?"

"You mean baby-sit with you?" Teddy asked. A pained look crossed his face.

Chris rolled his eyes and took a drag on his cigarette. 

"Isn't that kind of gay?" Teddy asked as he stubbed out his cigarette. Behind his glasses his eyes were a little wild.

Chris smirked a little. "Why? You worried your secret will come out?"

"Fuck you man, I've got a girlfriend."

"I'm sure you do," Chris said smoothly in a tone that implied that actually he was sure Teddy didn't.

Teddy of course rose to the bait. "What are you trying to say Chambers?"

"Just that if you weren't worried about your secret getting out, you wouldn't be so worried about doing a little baby-sitting."

"Fuck you Chambers you hermaphrodite. I don't exactly see you out with a lot of girls."

"That's cause your mother doesn't want to go *****public***** about our relationship yet," Chris said and he was really grinning now.

"Oh no you fucking didn't!" Teddy cried but he was grinning despite himself. Deep down inside himself he recognised that he missed Chris and Gordie. No one had ever replaced them.

Chris stubbed out his cigarette. "I'm going in now, tell your mom I'll see her later." He winked and then turned and walked coolly down the path.

"Crazy bastard," Teddy muttered to himself but he too found himself following down the path and when Jillian opened the door she found she had two babysitters that night.

Gordie and Vern were walking to Main Street to grab a bite to eat when a car suddenly cruised along the sidewalk next to them and stopped. 

"Lachance!" 

Gordie watched with growing unease as the doors popped open and Ace, Eyeball and Vince climbed out. Vince and Eyeball hung back, leaning against the car but Ace strode forwards.

Next to Gordie, Vern was all tensed up, his eyes flickering from face to face.

"Time to pay up you little bitch," Ace said softly.

Gordie could smell the liquor on Ace's breath and he winced despite himself.

"Ten dollars Lachance, remember?" Eyeball called from his position against the car.

"Shit," Gordie whispered to himself and dug his hands into his pockets. He knew it was fruitless though, at most he had six dollars and probably not even that.  
"I know you have that ten dollars Lachance, cause I'd hate to have to get mad," Ace whispered and he smirked.

"Course I have it," Gordie said and surprisingly his voice sounded more confident than he felt.

Gordie took the money out of his pocket and counted it. Four crumpled dollar bills, a half-dollar, five quarters and a dime. He checked his pockets again, but that was all he had. 

Ace's eyes skimmed over the money in Gordie's hands.

"Five dollars eighty-five, hmmm seems a little shy of ten dollars to me. What do you boys say?" He directed his question towards Eyeball and Vince.

Gordie turned desperate eyes on Vern. 

"I don't have much," Vern whispered apologetically and began to empty out his own pockets. 

Gordie watched with a mixture of hope and yet the inevitable feeling that they were going to come short of the ten dollars. 

Vern finally came upon a dollar bill and two quarters. Gordie felt his heart sink.

"Hang on," Vern said. "I may have more." He patted all of his pockets and came up with twelve pennies.

Gordie took the money off Vern and tipped it all onto Ace's hands. He felt all the hope disappear and he braced himself for the attack.

"Hmm you didn't meet our agreement," Ace said in a thoughtful tone. He turned and gave the money to Vince.

"Sorry Lachance," Ace said and if Gordie hadn't known him better he would swear that Ace actually sounded sorry.

Vern backed up a couple of steps, Gordie closed his eyes and then it came. Ace drove his fist into Gordie's stomach. Gordie bent over double, he felt like he was about to throw up, the second time in two days.

Ace stepped back away from Vern and Gordie.

"Bye girls," Eyeball said and climbed back into the car.

Vince nodded curtly and walked around to the other side to get in.

"You'd better give me the rest of the money tomorrow or you're fucking dead, you dig me Lachance?" Ace said.

Gordie looked up, his arms were wrapped tightly around his stomach and his eyes were welling up. He felt like he was about to pass out.

"I got it Ace," he snapped.

Ave nodded and sauntered back to the driver's seat. As he walked off Gordie stood up straight and flicked the car off with both hands. Eyeball noticed and his eyes widened in surprise. 

"Fuck you, you fucking bastards!!" Gordie screamed as the car drove off. Luckily the sound of the engine mostly drowned out his words. Unluckily Mrs Lachance happened at that moment to turn onto the street along with some of her friends from church.

"Gordon?" Mrs Lachance said in shock, her face was bright red. The other women shook their heads in great disapproval.

"Hey momma," Gordie said quietly wishing the ground to open up and swallow him up.

Next to him Vern was struggling to keep from laughing. The whole situation was so ridiculous.

"Hi Mrs Lachance," Vern said and a laugh escaped his lips.

Gordie shot Vern a death look. "Where you headed mom?"

"We're going to sell stuff at the church," Mrs Lachance said stiffly.

Gordie nodded. "Have fun." Then as if sensing it was probably impossible to make the situation worse, he decided to just go for it. "Say, could I borrow some money for dinner?"


	36. Looking Out For Each Other

**Wow, it's been almost two months since I last updated. I'm so sorry!! Hahaha whoever said second semester senior year was easy is a liar! Anyway here's the next chapter and I apologise that it's only one chapter, not the usual three. Thank you to my loyal reviewers, I really appreciate the support/encouragement. Hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm really not sure how I feel about it but let's hope you guys like it. Thanks a lot. *Heart* to everyone!! **

**Looking Out For Each Other.**

"Chris!! Chris man, the baby's crying again!"

Chris came out of the bathroom to the combined sounds of Teddy's panicked voice and Aimee's wailing. Teddy was standing over the cot, futilely shaking a rattle. Aimee's face was bright red and scrunched up.

"Teddy man, don't ever have children." Chris strode forwards and carefully lifted Aimee out of the cot.

"Come on baby, don't cry," Chris whispered and gently rocked her back and forth.

"Aw look at Chris with his little baby," Teddy mocked.

"Hey man, this is my niece," Chris said. "Besides she's stopped crying now. Chambers babies are always tough."

"Except you."

"I was tougher as a baby than you are now," Chris said dismissively and sat down on the sofa with Aimee still in his arms. 

Teddy paused before sitting down awkwardly next to Chris. "Geez this is really gay now, huh?"

Chris shrugged. "Depends on how you look at it."

"How are you looking at it?"

"Well," Chris began, "I'm doing a favour for my friend and my brother." He turned to Teddy to say some more but the look on his friend's face stopped him dead.

"You like her!" Teddy cried and his eyes widened behind his glasses. "Why didn't I see it before? You love her!"

"What??" Chris asked. "Who are you talking about?"

"That Jillian chick, man. I mean yeah, she's pretty hot and all but she's been with Eyeball for God's sake!" Teddy looked both shocked and gleeful about the latest development.

"No way man, you're wrong."

"Am I?" Teddy said importantly and stood up. He began to pace the room in a cheap imitation of a lawyer in one of those TV shows or perhaps he was going more for the Sherlock Holmes type thing. Chris couldn't really tell.

"Yes, you're wrong. Jillian is just a friend, not even that really, she's more like an acquaintance."

Teddy laughed. "Yeah I'm always taking care of the babies of my acquaintances on my Saturday night too."

"Well you're here too ain't ya?" Chris exclaimed, but he blushed slightly and Teddy knew he was right.

Aimee was looking a little startled so Chris went and laid her back down in her cot. When he turned around Teddy was smirking at him.

"In love with the ex-girlfriend of your brother and the mother of your niece." 

Chris rolled his eyes. "You're like some broken record Teddy."

"Isn't this like incest?" Teddy asked perfectly serious.

"Hell no! What's wrong with you?!"

"Hey man, don't yell at me." Teddy held up his hands in mock surrender. "I'm not the one on a date with the girl you looooove."

Chris sighed. "You're insane Duchamp."

Teddy laughed. "How does it feel to know fucking Eyeball is with your girl right now?"

"Hey man, don't swear in front of Aimee! I promised Jillian you'd be good."

"I promised Jillian," Teddy mimicked.

Chris cast a look back at the cot to see whether Aimee was watching them or not. Seeing she had her eyes closed Chris took the opportunity to flick Teddy off with both hands.

Teddy grinned and slumped down on the sofa. "I struck a nerve! I struck a nerve!" he crowed.

Chris bit his lip. "Shut up would ya," he said but without much conviction.

"You like her don't you?"

"I guess so."

"A lot?"

"Nah, just a little," Chris said and he even blushed slightly.

Teddy nodded, understanding the situation.

"I mean," Chris began, "it's more like I feel bad for her, you know what I mean?"

Teddy frowned slightly. "Why do you feel bad for her?"

"Just it's a pretty fucked up situation you know. I'm not saying I feel responsible or shit, just…"

"Well there's a difference between feeling bad and wanting to help, and feeling like you have a responsibility to help, Chris," Teddy said seriously. 

"I know that," Chris said with a hint of anger in his voice.

Teddy held up his hands. "Calm down," he said. "I was just talking…"

Chris glared out the window for a while, and when he eventually spoke again, his voice was low and quiet.

"Maybe I do feel some responsibility for the kid," he said. "It's a Chambers for Christ's sake. We don't have much of a chance in life."

Teddy shook his head and twisted his baseball cap around so it faced backwards. "Why do you feel the need to take responsibility for everything and everyone?" he asked.

"What?" Chris asked and turned around to face Teddy.

"You heard what I said," Teddy said evenly and sat forward on the couch.

"That's bullshit," Chris said curtly.

"No it ain't," Teddy said and stood up, wishing fleetingly that he could match Chris's height of 6"2; in this kind of circumstance it did a guy good to have a height advantage, but Teddy was shorter by at least four or five inches. "Ever since we were kids you've been taking responsibility for other people, whether you should or not. Always making some fucking sacrifice."

"That's not true."

"It is! I mean c'mon Chris, look at this thing with Gordie. He's old enough to take care of himself Chris, and he's old enough to decide who he wants to be friends with. You say you want to back away so that you don't 'drag him down'?? What the fuck does that mean? If things happen in Gordie's life it's down to Gordie, not you. Why can't you see that?"

Chris stared hard at Teddy for a minute or two before replying. "Maybe that's true," he said finally, "but you can't tell me that his being friends with me doesn't put him in a certain category. That to all the fucking teachers and those assholes from up on the View, his being a friend with me makes him as much of a loser as I am."

"That's cause they're assholes! You just said so. Those jerks from up on the View will look down on Gordie whether you're around or not. Why? Because his family isn't rich or powerful, and because, despite evidence to the contrary, a lot of people in this town still think that Denny may have been drunk when he had his accident, and all the other lame-ass reasons those idiots have for being snobby bastards to us all."

Chris opened his mouth to say something but couldn't think of a goddamn word.

Teddy seized the opportunity to keep going. "I mean Chris, c'mon man, Gordie is not the kind of person to give a shit what any of those bastards think of him. The only opinions Gordie has ever cared about are Denny's, his dad's and yours. "Teddy stared directly at Chris when he spoke, making sure the other boy caught every word. "So think about it, the person Gordie cares about most in the world suddenly ditches him. Do you know how that feels Chris?"

"I'm not the bad guy, Teddy," Chris said brokenly.

Teddy nodded emphatically. "I know you're not a bad guy, Chris. You're the good guy! You're the guy who we all rely on, who we always have relied on and probably always will. You're that guy, Chris."

"It's not easy being that guy," Chris said regaining some of his strength.

"I don't doubt it, " Teddy said smoothly, "that's why you have to let other people help you too."

Chris stared at the floor, gathering his thoughts. Finally he spoke: "You know what Teddy, you're a goddamn genius." He smiled and it was his smile, not the cold, haunted one he'd been wearing all week. "As soon as Jillian gets back, me and you are going to go and fucking find Gordie."

Teddy smiled too. "That's what I'm talking about man.

Chris nodded and glanced at the clock on the wall. "Damn, still another hour at least before they get back."

Teddy was peering into Aimee's cot. "Um yeah and here's another problem you can solve man."

"What?"

"How the fuck do you change a diaper?"


End file.
